So, without the laptop I’ve had to start rewriting “Will Knit For Food” by hand. Its interesting how different the writing is when you slow down. And if anything, its a more energetic space to be in when its you and the paper alone. A quiet space of reflection and intimacy left void by the whirring of a computer and the shrilling bright light of a monitor. But, at some point, I’m going to have to have a laptop to work with, to transcribe the wild story of a man who ended up homeless in the woods and began knitting teddy bears to survive. A year ago, Kara’s daughter took a few photographs of me on the side of the road with a sign, looking desperate, in despair, but trying his best to keep alive while clutching my knitting. It was pretty mad to see traffic stop and slow as they passed me with these weird looks on his face. “What the…?”
I finally got the pictures this morning. Now, this isn’t the photo that will be on the cover once I’m done writing the book, but the one I’ve chosen is from that same day.Its interesting how thin I had gotten. 115 pounds, a tattered ballcap that was torn up and faded, clothes too big for me bought at the Salvation Army (and yes, its hard to find pants to fit a 26 waist and 32 length. But, despite how sad and desperate everything looks, I couldn’t help be drawn to my own eyes. They’re still big, bright and hopeful.
With the Etsy fiasco at my heels, and my feeling that their company is now solidly in my past, I didn’t crumble. No, I thought about that photo with those big eyes full of hope. They could have helped, they could have, but I don’t obligate them to that. They made their decision and off I go.
I knit ferociously last night this bear made with Lionbrand’s Organic Wool. A gift from Brandyce who sent it to me a few months back. I finally got around to working with it and NEVER have I see any of my bears work up with such an AWESOME belly. HUGE! I loved it! His face was shaping up and I could see his sad softness say, “Cuddle me. Please?” And then once the stubby little legs and the big belly came about I thought with a smile, “Yeah…That’s right, man. You were made for cuddling. You were made to be squished and squeezed until some little one falls asleep.”
He’s much larger than some of my other bears. I used a size 8 set of needles instead of 5’s. The little guy is in my shop.
He really is THE classic teddy bear.
And have faith in me, I know many of you do. Sometimes I have to remind myself to have faith in something bigger than me, something greater that many will call God. I do have faith.
Running out of supplies.