It has been a very dark couple of weeks, and be mindful, the sort of depression and fear that I was experiencing gradually swooped upon me to such a degree that I felt incapable of proceeding. This isn’t a mention on suicidal thoughts, but rather, an indication that I couldn’t conceive of how to get back on my feet, nor how to move back into the wonderful life that I have been blessed with. True, I have had my fair share of setbacks. Despite those having always been financially, I have never felt a setback that was emotional, awkwardly ill, and debilitating such as the one I’ve been suffering from.
Yes, it’s true, in the wildest ways that destiny works, that I found myself out on this abandoned piece of property alone. It is NOT true, however, that it was supposed to become a way of life for me. I found refuge here because it was a place of quiet and solitude; it was a place to find peace beyond the turmoil that last year had wrecked me with. However, instead of something remarkable surfacing from the silence and the isolation, I found something deeper brewing within me: that all the frail little nuances that make me uniquely Gregory Patrick had been shoved to the side to make way for self-doubt and paranoia.
Throughout my time out here I’ve rediscovered quickly that I am a strong individual, a mighty, creative man who is loved. And so, I move myself now on a quest to recapture the truth behind what I had once reminded myself of once before: you control your destiny. Only YOU have the power to make a change.
So now, for as long as I am here, I am in pursuit of the purpose that I design for myself, the liberty that I alone fight for, and the happiness that eludes those that go looking for it. It’s here (pointing at the heart), under the guise of acceptance.
I am awake now….
I’ve been knitting these teddy bears and selling them on Etsy for the income I need to
buy food while here. But, it’s my hope that I can sell enough of them, and my latest book, to finally move on, move forward, securing the destiny that only I can prescribe for myself. These little teddy bears are the key to my financial salvation.
My emotional and spiritual salvation are all entirely up to me….