Unfortunately, and with much regret, I have to say that I wasn’t able to raise the money for the surgery on my gums. Surgery is tomarrow at 1:30pm EST and I will be calling the Periodontist in the am to cancel my appointment. Furthermore, the acupuncture visit has been delayed, due to a scheduling problem, and I’m not entirely sure when I’ll be able to finally meet with Dr. Hou.
So, to all of you that gave your support and prayers, I thank you. I couldn’t have developed this wonderful sense of purpose and joy had I not people across the globe offering prayers and the absolute best of wishes.
When I call the Periodontist tomarrow, I’ll make mention to him that I have half a bottle of antibiotics and the best of hope. But, I’m not sure what happens next. I’m not sure what his advice will be, nor am I certain of what someone in my situation does.
Furthermore, this whole business with my gums and the impending loss of my teeth has pushed deeper, darker aspects from out of my psyche. Those of fear, truth, and realism. This situation could have been avoided. Alas, my father’s wife put an end to that. She professed to my father that gum disease was just another racket employed by the dental group to get money out of people. Here I am, a face that swelled with infection, and X-Rays to show that the roots of my teeth no longer attach themselves to my jawbones.
For this, I am unforgiving; this situation being in a long line of reminders that she has resented me, has wanted my father to not concern himself with me, and the wedge she has placed between us only allows a space that she wants filled only by her own son. I then found out just yesterday that my neice graduated high school. Complete with cap and gown and a future ready to claim as her own, I was never notified, never emailed, never phoned. I was kept completely out of the loop, reading about the event past tense on Facebook.
I’m realizing there is no safety in the concept of traditional family, that the connections you make with total strangers can be a stronger love than those with whom you share blood.
So, to those of who out there who showed your love, your support, your prayers with me, to those of you that I have yet to meet but wished only the best for me, I can only say with a very full heart, “Thank you.”
The rest of you with whom I share a last name? I have nothing more to say.