Compramise and Sacrifice

So for the last few days I’ve been in this tumultuous position….

Scrap that. So for the last YEAR I’ve been in this tumultuous position. One dreary ordeal stacked upon another with the latest bit of whipped creamed topping being facing homelessness. Let me back track a bit. Or rather, let me sort of ramble out some fragments of thought and hope they all come round into the point that I want to make with ths blog: I will not compromse my Teddy Bear business, but I will sacrifice whatever it takes to see the business succeed.

In the past two weeks I’ve watched my teddy bear business suffer on Etsy becomes of the stresses of having to hunt down lodging, making sure Mario is fed and safe, and making sure that my bears get knitted up and sent as quickly as possible to the post office. Sadly, some of those bears have taken WAY too long to reach their new homes. For this I am forever angered at. A thriving little cottage industry going south because of the situation I’m in. Customers understanding, but slightly annoyed. And who wouldn’t be? I owe them everything for being patient with me.

Was feeling a bit weathered this morning. Independence Day. No BBQ for you! A day in a garage will the humidity causing mold to show itself, dark and bleak, hot as hell. Mario is stretched on the tiles to keep cool. I’m keeping her waterbowl constantly filled to make sure she never runs out.

And out of nowhere it hit me. I can be homeless. I can be hungry. I can own only 3 pairs of jeans and a handfull of socks and t-shirts. Thes are things I will sacrifice. My knit teddy bear business? This is not to be compramised. I will NOT let that business suffer under the heavy weight of life itself. I’m hoping there are a biography or two in the future that talk about a nice little knitting empire that started with a skinny little guy in cowboy boots and a ballcap that looked more suited for NASCAR than yarn. “He started that business with NOTHING, you know….” That’s what I want to hear them say. And what to do with all that roaring success? Become a philanthropist. I don’t need much. There are so many in the world that need so much more than I do. At least I have Mario, a furry little companion that gets it, understands it, doesn’t really know when things are high or hellish. She’s there, unaware and loving. See? Some people don’t even have that much.

There have been some wonderful benefactors out there who have helped me. Each of you I go to prayer with. Each of you gets a huge chunk of my thoughts when I rest at night with something to eat.

I’ve been working on some custom orders lately. A big brown bear for Leelu in Canada. A red stripey thing inspired by “City Of Lost Childen” forDarktapestry. Deborah’s Nero Silk Garden Bear. Jimbob’s pink mohawked bear. Arianna’s “Box of Bears.” An orange lovely headed to Canada this week, a purple one headed to Japan, and a nice heathery darling making its way to England. I can do this. I want to do this. I have to keep doing this. So, I’ll leave the donate button up, because God knows I need all the help I can get. Going to get myself a little flat for the cat and I. Thats what I’m pushy for, rushing towards, knitting the little fingers to the bone for. But, even more so, I’m striving and thriving to see this little Teddy Bear business bring smiles to all of you who believe in me. In the meantime, I’m going to have to start relisting on Etsy. I need to bring in some business, get some new smiles working their way around the globe.

Thanks for all of your help. Happy Independence Day!



  1. Good to have some news from you. I’ve got no money left. If some sales were to jump in my inbox, I’ll let you know.

  2. I have been in your position; in some ways I am still in your position.

    My cat went to stay with friends I trusted (where he passed away from a heart attack at 15 years old) and I moved into a tent in a wooded area I knew. Having been raised rurally, I was fully prepared to live like this. I wouldn’t have survived on the street (of course, everyone is different).

    I wasn’t knitting then but often think of how much more pleasant my experience would have been if I was. I did, however, find living in the woods meditative and wonderful but I also need to mention that I was near the University I attended and had a kitchen where I could fully store and prepare food as well as access to showers.

    Technically, I am still homeless though I do have a roof over my head. I started my knitting business to get my son back home with me. It hasn’t been easy but I have found a way to survive.

    I sincerely hope you can find a way to make it through. While I do not have any money to donate (I would if I could), I hope it helps to know that you are not alone and that it is possible to survive this and come back

    1. Our stories aren’t that different. Its wild how creative people end up in the woods. Knitting out there did afford me some sense of meditation. I’m anxious to write more. I’ll do so privately to your email address once I have the time. My best back to you and thank you for the prayers.

  3. I offer a hand if you need help knitting any of your bears to keep up with the demand on you so that you are not so stressed. Let me know. I am in Tampa, not to far from you.

    Have a safe holiday, be safe and stay well.

  4. I think that it is wonderful that during this difficult time in ur life, you are able to focus on your true passion. So few people ever know that their purpose in life is and I encourage you to continue on this path. I have no doubt that if you continue to stay positive and follow your heart God will bless you!

  5. I admire your determination and drive to maintain no business no matter what. It’s very important to set priorities, and if this is a priority for you, you’ll make it work. Best of luck.

  6. Oops, I just noticed a typo in my comment from a month ago…it’s supposed to say “determination and drive to maintain YOUR business no matter what”!! Sorry about that!

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