You made the comment that you look at my posts, look at my blog often to see if I mention you. This one is for you:
Its a rough and rainy day. I have projects everywhere. Bears, socks, a few random granny squares made with leftover yarn. The rain makes a shady blame over today. Lethargy moves in. Actions slow. Should I have the guts, I’d toss my yarn to the side, crawl into bed with you, watch something stupid, cuddle with you, slipping from out of the covers only to grab another sip of a bowl of soup from the stove.
I have enjoyed meeting you, and although you’re so far, we’ve connected cleanly; both of us having experienced homelessness, heartbreak, and an ever increasing optimism that the potential behind our meeting could bring some wonderful things, not only for ourselves, but to those around us.
Daily we talk, daily we yearn for a future where we get to finally lay eyes on each other. Daily we find ourselves laughing, or crying, or even mindlessly chatting about something no one cares about.
I have to make an apology to you. I apologize for being too ambitious sometimes, for focusing too much on my desire to hit level II, then III, then IV, and not noticing you hurting, or wishing, or dreaming. I’m sorry for being a little self absorbed and focused on my business, my brand, and not more on the fledgling flight of a future with you. That’s not my intention. My intention is to fight, to push, to rush to the front and say with my knitting, my classic smile, and my charming Southern drawl, “WE won’t ever have to be hungry again.”
So, this how I mention you. I hold you close today. I work up bears in a cranky wooden chair, sip soup standing at a counter top, and listen to business and political chats on talk radio. I get to the point of hands hurting, and back aching, but I don’t complain….I grab another skein and move onto the next project. I have a family to one day take care of.
Although we are separated by distance and time, I assure you, I’m anxious to cuddle with cozy, drowsy arms around me, warm the bones with some wickedly delicious soup, and watch anime…