So, my friend Shayne came to visit me this weekend. The first thing I said to him when he arrived was, “Dude, its been a hellish couple of weeks with the Etsy shop being closed, the laptop dying, the income drying up….I just wanna relax for a day, if that’s cool?”
And relax we did. We did nothing, I tell you. NOTHING. We sat outside and chatted for hours and hours about silly things, stupid things, politics, religion, hopes and dreams, fears and foolishness. Then, ultimately, the conversation went back to this whole “MAD MAN KNITTING” notion. He was filled with some of the best advice that I’ve come across in a while, and basically, because he knows me on a personal level, he equated my psychology with someone who was beat up and filled with self-doubt. Shayne helped me remember that I was a man who should be proud of what I have accomplished. Proud that I have a talent, proud of being creative, and proud that I have a natural survival instinct.
So much of what I’ve felt over the last few months has been based on a sense of self deprivation. I’ve denied myself pride for a while. And I thank my friend for pointing that out.
I’m going to start reminding myself that I am a great, genuine, and creative man who has been beat up, but who still clings on with a death grip to hope. I’ve got my bears, I’ve got my shop, and I’m going to start pinpointing Mad Man Knitting down to a singular philosophy, a brand. This has to be a business, a real one, and cannot be lead by a man who doubts himself. He will be courageous and mindful. So, BigCartel is my home for my bears. There is no walk-by traffic, so I have to do the promotion myself. I’m good with that, I can do it. At some point, I’m going to need more supplies. And I’m DEFINATELY going to have to get a laptop of my own rather than use either a public one or the visits to my mother’s. (*I really do so much of my online work when I wake up at 5am). Oh! And I set up a new Facebook page just for the bears and my work. AND new email: firstname.lastname@example.org
So, thanks to all of you, many special thanks to Shayne for helping me restore my pride, and thank God that I now feel I have the courage, the spark, and the determination to make my teddy bears a unique and special product.