What the $#!!& WAS I THINKING???

I was whisked to my step father’s birthday party last night. Had a wonderful time, a great time with a steak and a few beers and I can’t tell you how LONG its been since I was able to enjoy myself like that. Wonderful time.

At some point I got up to offer a toast. “I couldn’t have asked for a better step father….” and later in the evening he approached me and mentioned how proud he was of me. “Those teddy bears you make, you’ve done some really great things with them. You really have. You’ve touched people. Your teddy bears give people hope….”

I was stung, because I had been thinking about it alot. I’ve gotten emails from people (Benne is one I’ll never forget), about how their own teddy bear has helped them through some rough times, how this particular bear of mine is a sense of promise (thank you Sarah Smith!), and that there is something in this mad knitting of mine that makes these teddy bears something remarkable and close to the heart.

I had thought about putting them aside for a while…and I did for a good month! But, they’ve been tugging at me, tugging at my heart, and the emails just simply confirmed what I knew would be true: I can’t give these little guys up. I just can’t. I love them too much. And more so, I love the emails I get from people who’ve adopted a bear and the feeling of gladness and connection I get from hearing their stories. Beth’s bear, if you remember, was a very important one for me. How could I stop? How could I deny life to another teddy bear? How could I have been dumb enough to think that these bears would be forgotten when I hear so many great stories about how they aid and comfort, bring smiles to lives, bring joy?

There’s no way I can stop, especially after hearing my step father’s comments, some of the comments on this very blog, and the touching email I received from Benne earlier today.

I’ll march on. I may never be a rich man from doing this, but isn’t about the money, is it? Its about this wild world in which we live that gets smaller and smaller…..when you have something as simple as a sad faced teddy bear to bring you closer and closer.

I’ve got one I’m proud of now. I don’t have a name for him. He’s a pinch smaller than my other ones. But, he’s made of the most delicious cashmere I’ve ever had the pleasure of working with. He’s smoky grey, quiet, and so soft I felt the tenderness of the yarn in my hands as a luxury. It was a small skien of yarn I never thought was ample enough to make a bear, but as life shows you in wildly wonderful ways, beauty will find a way to be born. And here he is:

If you’d like to adopt him, click here.

I’m smiling šŸ™‚ My little teddy bears mean something.



  1. Avid collector of bears here šŸ™‚ You know- you need to do some cards that have your signature on them to put with your bears. Kind of like Xavier Roberts’ signatures on baby butts but a bizillion times better. Also- I’m thinking it is time to move to clothing patterns for the bears. How fun would it be to make hats and sweaters and socks?! When i get a chance, i am going to design something for them. ~Leila

  2. WOOHOO! Every time you have posted one of these new bears lately I have tried to purchase one. Someone has always beat me to the bear. LOL. NOT TODAY! this baby is mine. šŸ™‚

  3. I love your bears! One day I will be able to afford one for myself. Have you ever thought about giving them a heart? Like a heart shaped piece of felt with one word written on it, or a bible verse. I would love the word “Hope”.

  4. Love that you are going to continue on with the bears, but moderation in all things, you know. You have to make sure to take care of your hands and arms and shoulders!

  5. Gregory,
    I was just in a shop over the weekend and noticed some nice yarn on clearance, thought about purchasing it for you…but thought…oh yeah he is not doing bears any more. I am so glad to hear you are back to the bears. They are truly special and I will keep my eyes open for more great yarn.

  6. Hooray! I’m so glad there will be additions to the community of bears–and bear lovers. However, I do think “bluelaker4” had a good point: moderation to save your arms, hands and shoulders. It makes me smile to know there will be more bears.

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