Six months ago the world came to my rescue. They saw a man in trouble, doing his best to use his talents to survive. There was no Federal or State assistance granted to me, so I had to push using my little knitting needles to get life back in order. YOU came to my rescue, you all came rushing in to show that the world is beset with more kindness than ridicule and hate. You proved by your generosity that we, as a human community, do care about those who purposely do their best to face hardship head on and reclaim pride for themselves. I believe that is what this story of mine has been all this time. We fight for those who wish to fight and contribute solidly. We help those who desire to help others. We only need each other, or better yet, we only needed a connection with each other.
I happily, gratefully accepted more orders for bears and before I knew it, I had my first home in years. My own four walls, my own little place to cook food, my own little place to wash myself daily….and the orders kept coming. I could have stopped them, and said that I simply couldn’t take any more orders for a while, but I had no choice. I needed the money to keep this little apartment for Mario and I. I just decided that I would have to work harder. But, I found myself slowly winding down the harder I worked. The more I knit, the slower I got. With no downtime of any kind, I found myself knitting slower and slower. In a day I was easily able to knit up 2 to 3 bears…..then I found myself struggling to finish just one. Sleep doesn’t come easy, seeing half a dozen half knit teddy bears in the corner, knowing that people out there are upset that their bears are not arriving when they wanted them to. And for this, I apologize from the bottom of my heart for letting you down. I still send out my teddy bears at least every two days. Sometimes I’m able to send 2 boxes, sometimes just one. But, I continue to push through this, knowing not only the obligations I owe to you, but the reminder that this is my last thread of hope. This is what I do. I knit teddy bears. And without it, for the moment, I’m done for. I have no other options right now. Not right now. Someday in the future, yes there will be others, but for right now, these little bears are what feed me, keep me in a home and off the streets….and even more importantly, these teddy bears actually make people smile with sheer delight.
So, I have to keep selling them. I have to. Without them right now, there is no income….but, I also feel that without them, something dark has taken over. The ambition I had was not to be a rich man off of this, but to simply survive in my own little way, and to make people smile as they clutch their teddies.
This is my open letter of apology to you, for the delay in having some of the bears make their way to your homes. This is my plea for not only forgiveness, but for patience with me. Nearly 900 bears have been shipped out to their homes over the last 2 years…..and I think that is a great indication that I will come through for you, I promise you that. I just need a little time.
I understand if some of you leave. I certainly do. But, I implore you to stay with me. I implore you to have faith in me, to allow me the honor of providing you with my little sad faced bears. Please stay.
To my die hard supporters I can only ask that you continue coming back, that when you need a teddy bear for someone you still think of me first. I beg of you to return again and again (as many of you have!) to snag a little teddy bear, adopt him, and give him a home. For when you do, you allow Mario and I to keep ours.
I can always be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
I’ve gotten a touch teary eyed while writing this for two very important reasons. The first is the most obvious. The last thing I want is for all of this hard work to amount to nothing, and it crumbles, crashes, and little Mario and I are back were we started. And the second, and most important. I never ever want the feeling ever again of having disappointed you.