Sorry I haven’t been in too much touch lately. I’ve been knitting, of course, but I’ve also been going through and sending emails to everyone that helped me out last week. Its taking some time, but I’m dead set on writing a letter to everyone thanking them. I don’t want anyone at all to feel that I’m not grateful, for I truly am. I TRULY am, and I’m desperate to let everyone know that. So, I’m spending my days knitting and writing emails.
I have an entire army, a legion of people in this world that have helped me, supported me and that believe in me. And I don’t have the luxury of taking each and every one of you in my arms and holding you saying, “THANK YOU!!!”
You’re my family. Don’t ever forget that. And please don’t take that lightly. I’m a strangely open person on paper, with words, but a crazy private person in real time. Despite all that, just know how much of my heart is filled with thoughts of all of you.
Its a bit late in the evening. Its nearly 1am. Can’t sleep, still energetic, still feel I’ve got a few hours left in me to work. But, I felt like I wanted to remind you, and myself, of how much you mean to me. It is because of you I’m alive, you know. Because of you, there are no cracks to fall through. Because of you, I get to continue to make these teddy bears and give back in some way the joy you shower upon me. Because of you, not only is the rent paid, but the lights get to stay on, we have a huge pot of chili on the stove, and fresh peaches to enjoy. Because of you, I got to splurge and buy Mario a new cat box. Our last one was….wow. Well, I wouldn’t call it a cat box, but a makeshift cardboard bin wrapped in plastic and filled with litter. Mario is a trooper, and she used it anyway. Never once wavering.
Because of you I get closer and closer every day to a dream of philanthropy. I get closer and closer to helping in ways you’ve helped me. I told Kara just the other day, “I need to do more. I NEED to.”
“I gave a dollar at the checkout to help buy groceries for the homeless.”
“No. I need to do it face to face…..I need to see it. I need to remember it. EVERY DAY. I don’t want to ever go back there, I don’t want to ever go through that again. And I wanna do whatever I can to make sure no one has to go through it either….No one should go hungry. I need to do it face to face.”
Ok. Its getting late and I need to get some work done. I got a ton of bears to get out and a tome to finish up. I just wanted to take a break and let you know I was thinking about you. I’m always thinking about you….and you often remind me not to, but to think of others instead.
You’re going to see some changes here in the next couple of days. Really good changes. We’re going to start moving to the next level.
We? Of course. You and I, together…..