Its going to either hurt you, or me. More than likely, it will hurt me, but I have got to get some things off my chest that are demanding attention. And when you’re always at the verge of financial collapse, what difference would it make? I’ll risk everything to defend myself, and the many of you that have kept me from falling through the cracks.
I’m quite upset today. I am. I have been on the beating end of a stick for an awfully long time, and at some point you just have to stand up and say, “Enough….”
My heart dropped today. I got a dispute against me on paypal. And then another….and then another….and then another. And I watched my account drop quickly into negative. NEGATIVE
Now, apparently someone was upset that I didn’t respond on facebook to their emails and decided to make it their duty to tell all of their friends to ask for their money back.
I don’t live in this world where facebook is a place I spend my time. I am WORKING. I’m sitting here 16 hours a day knitting up a storm and I usually don’t get this angry. But, I have to remember that this society really DOES rest on updates on facebook or twitter feeds. Let me tell you how my day works. I wake, make coffee, fire up the laptop and sit here for HOURS, not two or three, but ALL DAMN DAY AND NIGHT knitting and staring at my email. When a message comes through I respond right then, right there. My email is quite easy: firstname.lastname@example.org
…and its posted EVERYWHERE.
Its listed on my shop if you need to contact me, its here on my blog if you should want to get in touch with me, as well.
I’m just so angry because I don’t think its fair. I push hard to knit these teddy bears up. I bust my scrawny little ass EVERY DAY to get them out the door and I LOVE each and every minute of it. After having knit up 1500 bears and sent them out, it sends me into a tail spin if 10 people becomes so angry for not getting attention that they deplete my account and leave me broke.
Dammit. I’m not supposed to talk like this, I’m not supposed to WRITE like this. I’m supposed to remember that these are good intentions and my followers are my friends and we have all good intentions behind these teddy bears…but, I actually blocked someone after I went to facebook and after one week of her not getting her bear she was spending the entire afternoon posting again and again and again how much of a scammer I was, how I wasn’t really sending teddy bears out to people, that I was just collecting the money and screwing people over.
AND THAT is why my attitude changed.
I’m not sure if some people think this is a joke, or what, but this is my life. This is serious. This is me clinging to the edge and being lifted daily by good people who feel as I do: that the world works BEST when you put your heart to work. Being called a scammer, a schemer, a FRAUD? That pisses me off to no end.
So, 1500 bears knit and delivered and 10 people manage to take all of my hard work and shit on it, make me broke again, and impede the income that I have.
I won’t tolerate it. I won’t. I know I am delayed in some orders, and I apologize, but more than anything, MOST of my orders are going out on time. And if they aren’t, I assure you, they will be there any day now.
But, if you wanna trash talk me? No, you have to go. I’m not going to have that around here. I’ll spend my time on facebook deleting and blocking …..AND THATS NOT WHAT WE DO!!!! WE don’t. NO NO NO, we don’t!
If you follow this blog, then I know you’re a good hearted, kind measured person who wants to accomplish the same things I do. Smack back that bullshit nastiness that exists in the world and reach towards something better….something more HUMAN…..and all found in a simple teddy bear. Our humanness found in a teddy bear. So, getting to that point where I spend my time pushing back bad behavior is NOT where we belong.
I’m sorry, but I’m angry today. Someone can dig deep into me and I’ll take it, I’ll work with it. I’ve been through my crap than you can imagine and I can handle it. But, don’t EVER accuse my followers of being “duped,” or “stupid.” Trust me, the great people who have come to my rescue I’d gladly go homeless for again to defend them. I’d rail against you in a HEARTBEAT if you should ever again hurt, harm, or make horrid mention of the people that saved my life. I won’t tolerate that. They’re good natured to mind, so I mind for them. The people who have rescued me and read of my life and send me the best of energy won’t get as angry as I will if you hurt them….but, I promise: on their behalf? I’ll go to angry places you never want to see.
If you EVER need to get in touch with me EMAIL ME! Its that simple! Don’t message me on Facebook, don’t send me a tweet, EMAIL ME! I’m here! ALL DAY! ALL NIGHT! RIGHT HERE!!! RIGHT NOW!!!
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to work. I need to get back to knitting. I have some teddy bears to make.