So, the day after my last post, I spent the majority of my time reading comments and emails and just sitting back quietly and listening. I didn’t even knit. I was in reflection as I learned about what you needed from me, what you hoped for me, and for some of you, how I had failed you. Yes, most of you are so vibrantly kind and patient with me and for that I get to walk away from my work on occasion and feel thankful and joyous. But, there are some who are not at all impressed with me. I understand that and hold now grudge or ill will. To them I can only offer my forgiveness that things did not work out so well, wish you well, and proceed.
But, proceed I must. I can’t stall in a quagmire of disappointment. We learn, we grow, we move on. We correct our mistakes, take the lashes and thrashes that we are due, and then aspire to do better. We do not rest in the self imposed confines of bad reputation, where our only highlights are the memories of fonder days. Absolutely not. We move towards ideas of the future, of how to make situations and relationships better, how to correct what we may have done wrong, and build upon the broken bricks of our heartfelt mistakes greater foundations for the future. I did lose some customers over this. But, it was expected that I might. To them, I can only say I hope you find all the treasures and dreams you wish for in your life. I am sad that things did not turn out well for us, but I have to proceed….
Now, I did not just jump to this conclusion quickly. No, it was a day of sitting back and listening, or reading emails and comments. This feeling of clarity came after talking to my friend Giovanni in the Netherlands. We were finally able to skype, and for nearly 2 hours we had the best time talking and laughing. The first part of the conversation was spent talking about the issue at hand, but once it seemed it had been dealt with, and I knew what decisions to make, a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders and I was able to smile again, laugh again, understand that I should never take it personally, nor take myself too seriously, and enjoyed the rest of our talk, enjoyed meeting his wife, and thoroughly enjoyed time to myself away from some pressures. I certainly did need that. So, Giovanni! Thank you for the great talk! I look forward to our next one!
And to the rest of you that decided to stay, give me words of encouragement, and even dispute to others that said I wasn’t worth the trouble, you know that I love you. And I know how much you love and care for me. I know that for certain. And it is rather comforting, isn’t it? That in a society filled with doubt and uncertainty, miscommunication and whisperings, that I KNOW that you love me. Great Steven Wonder shout out in As: “Did you know you’re loved by somebody?” I never have to second guess it. \
So, let’s go forward now. I’ve heard, learned, and lost….now, let’s move forward and build.
Here’s my bear for today. Made of that luscious lamb’s wool in a soft creme colour, a little bigger than the others, 12″ ready to ship with a signed card. I like the idea of this bear, coinciding with this particular blog, moving into the hands of a newborn. If you’d like to adopt him, click here.