I couldn’t wait to wake this morning. November has come. Now, that might not seem like too much fanfare for anyone to take seriously, but I am a mad man of symbolism….and I’ve been waiting for November 1 to slip its way onto the calender. I’m one of those sorts. We pick a day to gear up towards making changes. You know the type. Diet starts on my birthday. I’ll quit smoking New Year’s Day. I’ll hit the gym regularly beginning next Monday. We like monumental days to look forward so we can make bold change in our lives. We need a specific deadline to look forward to, embrace, then embark from. I chose November 1. And why this date? Why today? Because I said so, it’s as simple as that.
October wasn’t well for me. A lot of self doubt was bothering me. A lot of stagnation. Lethargic burdens that had me melancholic. I ain’t like that, I tell ya. I like optimism. And if you’ve lived with this blog for a long time, you know that the one thing I preach is that you must be forever hopeful. You will reap what you sow. If you’re spending your time doling out negative pessimism, congratulations! You’ll have a bountiful feast of bitterness once harvest comes around. However, planting a warm smile, a sense of purpose, and a devout desire to overcome obstacles armed only with your tenacity and hope will reward you with a lifetime of riches. Haven’t we learned that yet? As people, as humans, haven’t we figured that out yet? Seems to easy to grasp. Oh, well.
So with a few twisted moments in October doing their best to shake me of the optimism disease, I had to sit back and ask, “So, what’s up, Gregory? What’s going on?” With some clarity I started to see very simply an unhappiness that I had taken for granted. It’s always been gnawing at me, but I always brushed it off and said, “I’ll deal with you later. I’ve got bears to knit.” And like any illness, it just got worse, just started growing bigger and bigger until there was no room in this tiny apartment for it, me, and the cat. So, I had to deal with it.
I’m not moving forward, you see. I’m still on the edge, the cliff, land’s end. One false move and we end up right back where we started. I do my best, and with all of your help, I do survive each month, but…..barely. And that’s no longer enough for me. It’s just simply not. The stress of each month passing keeps me from sleeping, I don’t eat as often as I should because that devilish bit of gnawing steals my appetite. I want a little more than that kind of life.
Now, I don’t want the world, mind you. In some respects, in this heart of mine, I already own it. I have all of you to remind me of that. The generosity and kindness you have shown me have proven that I have the love of the world and that’s not something I take lightly. But, I need my safety. I need to begin building a real future for myself. And that starts today. November 1, 2014.
I’m pushing my bundle. You knew I was going to. You just KNEW I was. Because that is the easiest way to get to my safety. I can work on my back orders while the bundle goes viral. I can use some of that cash to refund people who aren’t happy they’ve waited so long. I can begin putting money away every month…..for tomorrow, for the next leg of my journey in life. So, that’s my plan for November. Push my bundle, my book and bear patterns….and I do mean push. It is a really good book. People really seem to like it. And I really loved writinng it. I’ve been selling it on craftsy, but don’t stress it, if you don’t wanna go through the trouble of starting a username and such there, I’ve got another option. You can get it directly from me now.
I feel good about this, because I’m optimistic. I am so lucky to have 10,000 subscribers to this blog. 10k! And I’m gonna be running after each and every one of you to get my bundle. Shameless self promotion? Hell, yes. Selling out? Of course! I’m gonna earn my safety. I’m gonna earn my place in life. I’m gonna have a long term place to live and enough food to share with anyone who comes my way. I’m going to sell 10,000 copies of my bundle. That, THAT is my goal.
Big smile, everyone. It’s November 1. The Mad Man is no longer the homeless guy struggling to stay alive. He’s no longer held back by the past. He’s a fighter, a survivor, and once you’ve defeated your foe, your gnawing pessimism and depression, you move forward into a sense of accomplishment. That’s right. I’m conquering the past with this endeavor to sell my bundle and moving forward into freedom. Into safety.
We’ll have enjoyed this blog. I’ve enjoyed writing it, and I know you’ve enjoyed reading it, and this has been an experience that we have mutually shared. I could never have made it even this far if it had not been for you. So with you my my side, we’re taking the next step toward forward.
If you’d like to buy my book and pattern bundle on craftsy, click here. The bundle is a pdf that contains not only my book, “MAD MAN KNITTING -or- the waiter and the fly,” but four of my patterns. The bear, the tiger, the bunny, and the bear dressed up in a mock sweater with hat and scarf.
If you’d like to buy it directly from me, click here. Just be sure your email is correct in check out, that’s the email address I’ll be sending it to.
If you appreciate my writing and you’d like for this blog to continue, please support! This blog survives because of you!