It’s no surprise I’ve been cranky over the last few days, or especially since my last post. Thanks so much for all of the comments and words of encouragement. That really meant a lot to me.
I got so wrapped in a fog of depression that I physically got sick. Don’t worry, it’s not a clinical issue, sometimes you just get so…..so……BLAGGHHHH about something you shut down in little ways. Maybe its defense? Who knows. But two days of nausea and two days of lethargy just pissed me off even more. I’ve got work to do! I don’t have time to be all wrapped up in a shroud of anger and being pissy!
So we all become reminded of those little sayings we hear often. The one that came to mind this time was, “You cannot control what happens to you, however you can control your reaction to it.” Sounds wonderful….in theory. But, in practice? You can only do your best. Human relations are based on nothing BUT reaction. We are responsive creatures. And perhaps we use too much instinct rather than foresight before we react, we still nonetheless react. And if the party in question to which you want to unleash your anger is unavailable, you have a tiny tendency to unleash all that crap on yourself.
So, here I am. In a spot in my life that is a long time coming. The overhaul that I’ve hinted at, wanted, yearned for, but never actually pursued because I was chained to the past, chained to an emotional strain that kept me guarded and insecure. A chain that also made me feel like I wasn’t valuable enough to pursue the life I wanted, only fortified by the comments I heard time and time again throughout my life. “You can be anything in life you want,” they would say, “….except yourself.”
Well, screw it. Those days are over. As well they should be. Time to move on. Time to cut, dissect and breathe free. Time to act on those changes I desire, not dream about them, not close my eyes and wish hopefully about tomorrow, but make active changes today. And why can’t I be a success? And why can’t I start today? Who is stopping me? I have patterns to sell, books to sell, and this blog must mean something to someone. There are a million things I can do right now, right this second, today. I can knit (well, I need to knit because I have orders that need to go out this week), but I can knit some more! I can write, I can smile, dammit! I can use the resources I have at my disposal, the one’s God handed me HIMSELF, to make my life better, to make my TODAY a helluva lot better than yesterday.
The past and my desire to know the truth used to be what held me back. Now the only excuse I have for not being the success I want to be is little ol’ me.
(whew! I feel better.) Now let’s sell some bundles! Come on! You know you want one!
If you’d like to buy my book and pattern bundle on craftsy, click here. The bundle is a pdf that contains not only my book, “MAD MAN KNITTING -or- the waiter and the fly,” but four of my patterns. The bear, the tiger, the bunny, and the bear dressed up in a mock sweater with hat and scarf.
If you’d like to buy it directly from me, click here. Just be sure your email is correct in check out, that’s the email address I’ll be sending it to.
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