Mad Man Saved

Ok, I’ve struggled to write this blog for the better part of the day. But, I was so overwhelmed with emotion and gratitude I couldn’t think of what to say, nor how to say it. I just wanted to hug everyone and hold them.

See? Even now I’m getting emotional. Watery eyed, its hard to write a blog post. But, that’s good! I mean, that has to be one of the best reasons for not being able write something. Sounds poetically pathetic. “I could not see to write for the tears in my eyes….”

Yesterday I ran around paying rent, paying the utilities (which were already one month behind), paying the internet (definitely can’t lose that), grabbed some groceries, ran back here and worked on four bears that needed to go out ASAP and started refunding money to people who have not been happy with me.

And today? I slept for probably 10 hours, got up to pee, made a pot of coffee and didn’t even drink it. Nope, I just crawled right back into bed and slept another three hours. I guess when stress is lifted off your back you just finally plop. You stop and catch your breath.

I got up long enough to heat up some chicken soup and write to you. I’ll spend a few minutes with Butch on skype in a little while. For some reason, that big bastard always makes me feel better whenever we skype.

And I wanted to tell all of you how much I love you. I truly do love you. And it’s a real love, a real care and concern and gratitude that makes me so thankful that you’re in my life. I LOVE you.

I’ll be able to write more tomorrow , but tonight I just wanted to write a quick note to let you know how much you mean to me, how much this life of mine is valued because of you. And that I am safe for now. So happily safe with my little flat and tiny cat.

Ok. I’m just getting teary again. Trying to think of all the jumbled emotion in my head is just making me weepy again. It’s a good cry! It really is!

Here I am, slurping soup with a tear trickling down my cheek…..I finally get a chance to feel safe for a while, catch my breath, then go forward.

Better tidy myself up before I skype with Butch.

I’ll talk to all of you tomorrow. 🙂

 

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15 comments

  1. Only recently found your fabulous blog and pretty much living the hand to mouth (sometimes having to bypass the mouth bit…) existence, so truly understand your feelings…from one struggling stranger to another,,, ❤ back atcha! 😀

  2. A big smile and a hug heading over ‘the pond’ to you. Very pleased and relieved to read you have reached a fork in the road and are heading down a better path. kind regards to you and Mario, love Vivienne

  3. Greg, I’ve never contacted you before but I do read and LOVE your blog. Just checking to be sure you are okay. Your last post was quite emotional, and you said you’d post more the next day. Since that was three days ago and you have been silent, I want you to know that I’m concerned about you, have thinking about you, and even praying for you. Hope all is well.

  4. Gregory, I’m so glad that you’re safe for another month! I wish that I could afford to help you out financially but I’m pretty tapped out too! I crochet bears as a support for people who have lost a child or had a miscarriage or stillbirth so I know how impatient some people can get! I really wish that they would realize that quality takes time and I don’t take money for my bears! It’s a labor of love because I lost a baby, Stephan Michael, when I was five and a half months pregnant. He was absolutely perfect looking but he only had half of a heart…I know that he’s watching over me and my family and someday I’ll get to hold him close again…I love you and your blog and I’ll continue to hold you in my thoughts and pray for you also! And maybe someday I’ll have the courage to actually try to learn how to use dpn’s so I can make the teddy bear and bunny from the patterns that I bought from you!

    Lori J. Thorne

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