I know I’ll lose a few of you. Forgive me for speaking my mind,
So I pinch myself.
I wander over to write something, slip back, biting the nails and recoil. “No, I can’t say that.” The truth is, in this world we’ve candy pumped for ourselves, one false move on the internet, one strange statement can kill you. And that concerns me. It terrifies me that if I should write what I want to say, there will be a legion of people that will not only no longer follow this blog, but will tell others, “destroy him….”
We’ve been doing too much of that of late. Too many calling for the heads of those that disagree with us.
I’m not proud of being a gay man for a number of reasons. To begin with, it’s not something I had to aspire to, nothing I had to fight for, nothing I accomplished. Being a gay man is no more impressive than my having brown eyes. I was born with it, there it is. No work needed on my part. Another reason could be one that is mired in the political sphere that everything seems to fall into these days. A cavernous, jagged place where no one can return from uncut, unscathed, despite what side of the cavern you fall. My sexual interests do not determine my personality, nor do they define my politics. I’m too smart for that.
And all it took for me to realize that I have to say what’s on my mind was the issue in Indiana (see your favorite facebook share to see whom says what and why), and of all people, Elton John.
How dare he decide to call a boycott against someone who disagrees with him. I’ve hated his music since he sobered. I’ve hated his music since he was Disney-fied. I’ve hated his political ideas. Doesn’t mean I want people en masse to destroy him. No, I’ll listen to his music on the radio and hum, but I won’t buy it. But, you see, in this community, this gay community, you’re supposed to follow the leader. Don’t you dare go astray.
I’ve never been fond of calling myself “a gay man.” I’m so many more impressive things. I’m a slew of wonderful amazing accomplishments….and at the bottom of the list, is a disclaimer. “Oh, by the way, I happen to be….” I’m not a gay writer, not a gay knitter, not a gay anything….I’m a man who happens to be…..hopeful, tolerant, caring. And those things that happen between the sheets? Well, as a matter of respect, because I was raised that way, those things are private.
I’m not fond of what the gay community has been doing to people who don’t approve of gay marriage. Our venomous turn has moved into the mainstream, into facebook and twitter, into the hellish removal of all those who don’t agree. And I don’t subscribe to that. I don’t admire those who wish to destroy those who have a different opinion. That’s not what we do. We listen, we hear, we disagree….we freely move on.
Simply because you and I don’t agree doesn’t mean that I should take to the wire and have you destroyed, your livelihood, your income taken from you. What manner of compassion is that? What example of tolerance is this? Not one that I can readily hold and claim and shame someone else with. I won’t do it.
So, I’m not proud of the way the gay community has been behaving of late. I don’t want it to be the singular issue we cling to, to separate us with, in order to claim equality.
I am a man. Done. You need to know nothing more. A tolerant man. A creative man. A caring man. A hopeful man. And if you were to ask me how I’d scream of my need for equality, my first choices would be that you were also tolerant, creative, caring, and hopeful as me. That’s equality…… and not a thing about your sexual interests.
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