What A F@$!king Disaster!

My teeth have been bugging me. Don’t worry. Finally have a dental appointment in the morning. If it were up to me? YANK ’em all out. I don’t care anymore! It’s painful, I tell you! PAINFUL!  Replace my gorgeous smile with something more synthetic….Aha! But that clever grin will still be there.

I’ve been dealing with this for YEARS. Another anecdotal realism from my homeless days. Poor nutrition brings about a loss of hair, bad skin, and teeth that cling to your gums for dear life.

I haven’t written my blog in a while because I’ve been pissy on the tooth end (chronically cranky I call it), and extremely busy on the knitting end. Shipping books has gotten better. They show up in the evening, we get down on our knees, me with sharpy in hand. I sign, pass off to Phillip who places the books in envelopes, seals them and BOOOM! We schedule a pick-up for the next day. So they came in one evening, then out the next. Nice flow.🙂

I’ve been knitting in stretches that last hours, moments that seem to take over my conscience, knitting in dreams, if you could say.

Any serious knitter knows what I mean. You dig in with those needles and you just keep going. Nothing else in the physical world matters. No pain. You don’t have to be a veteran knitter to know how that feels. Often times, it’s the newer knitters that feel it most. “I’m going to FINISH DAMMIT!”

IMG_2131I knit, toss the piece to the side, then pick up another. For a few days there, I had to let go because of the teeth. The pain so bad, I lay in bed, head propped between two pillows, Mario curled under the covers at my backside…..both of us in a self induced coma. If you’re unconscious you feel nothing. Any serious knitter knows what I mean….

Phillip would sneak up from behind, toss his arms around me and I’d hiss back, “Can’t you see I’m busy??? I’m focused, man!” He’d slip away, head to what he was doing and within a few minutes I’d realize what I had done. I had shunned the one true hero in this endeavor of mine.

I know I’m difficult to be around sometimes. I’m always deep in the trenches of ambition, and sometimes you forget the support you have. I know it can’t be easy to live with me. I’m on a schedule. I’m demanding. I’m distinctly on track…. And he is kind enough to sit back, let me hiss, take my shit….and love me anyway.

IMG_2132So, I wandered through my pile of boxes of books, over Mario (check her out keeping guard). I’m covered in yarn scraps, a bit of tuna casserole on my breath. I tippy-toe, and landed him a kiss. “I’m so sorry, man. Look at this f@$ing disaster! I know it’s chaos in here. I’ve just got so much to do right now. But it will be so worth it one day. I promise.”

He smiles, kisses me on the top of the head (because he IS a giant, you know), and says quite simply with a smile, “It’s ok, sweetheart. I know you’re busy. It wouldn’t be you if this place wasn’t filled with books and teddy bears.”

Thank God, he forgives me.

I’ll curl up beside him, Mario will curl up beside me….and we all look like a bunch of tremendously gay nesting dolls. I spy in the corner and see my disaster….Not really that much of a disaster when you think about it. It looks more like progress. Absolutely. A great way to move the mind into the positive. That pile of yarn and books is the success we’ve been hoping for….

So, we’ll have a messy apartment for a while….the end result will be a life of reward.

Yeah….a life of reward.🙂

(burp!) Tuna casserole!

willknitcoversmallThis is the story of how I knit my way out of homelessness. To order an autographed copy of “Will Knit For Food” click here, or for a Limited Edition personalized, signed paperback copy with t-shirt, click here.

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12 comments

  1. This totally touched my heart. Sometimes it’s hard to see past the creative mess to the beautiful people in our lives. I often have to remind myself that my partner of 19 years is the reason why I am working so hard. And I have to make time for him amongst it all.

  2. Your yarn stash kind of looks like mine except I have them all over the place mostly hidden from my husband. HAHAHA Sorry about the pain from your teeth. Thankfully, most dentists will arrange payment plans! I, too, snap at my husband when he interrupts my knitting. I do apologize and he forgives. Maybe it’s because they’re both named Philip? 🙂

  3. Clove oil – It tastes horrible but helps a bit. Don’t swallow it.
    Squishy ice packs, preferably the long, skinny kind that will wrap around your jaw and along your face.
    Been there.

  4. The gay nesting doll comment really did make me lol…and I’m so glad this post wasn’t about a real disaster, you had me scared for you, brother!! Keep writing, keep kniitng, keep loving.

  5. I read your blog today and saw that my book had arrived! Thank you so much! Can’t wait to start reading it. Also it was cool to see your signature and know that this was in your possession–from your hot hands to mine! Love reading your blog, disasters and all. By the way, mouth infections can affect other parts of the body, so it’s GOOD you are getting them seen to. I know it’s silly, but I still hate to end a sentence with a preposition, even though it works sometimes. Ta for now!

  6. Good luck with your teeth and yes, I do understand how knitting can bring one above the pain. I knitted my way through my last hip replacement and am just getting the projects organised for the next one being done next week. I will still be reading your blog!
    All the best🙂

  7. Hope all went well with the dentist. (They terrify me.) I’m not a prolific knitter, so I’m slow at it and I’m working on my bear when I a free minute here and there. I’ve got both legs and an arm ready for stuffing. Working on the second arm now. Looking forward to getting my copy of your book, whenever Mario lets his guard down. Since I have started reading your blog and working on my own bear, I find I don’t feel so alone at times. Thank you for that. Remember to take care of YOU, or there won’t be anyone to make the multitude of bears, and tear Phillip away from WoW long to ship those books….lol. Take care.

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