3AM Eternal

For a good week now I’ve been going to bed at the usual time, somewhere around 11. But, at 3am, I seem to wake, moaning, quietly screaming from tooth pain. I’ll get up, get to knitting and do what I can to ease the pain. And I have tried everything. Prayer, meditation, garlic cloves, onion bulbs, hot baths, humorous distractions (laughter), and acupressure under the chin bones. Nothing worked. Nothing at all.

Then tonight I woke up at midnight instead of 3am. I snuck out of bed and headed towards my yarn. A snoring Phillip left behind, sprawled in bed. (and he’s huge, so trust me, when he sprawls….well, he conquers all available space). I lit my candles (sacred hearts-more on that on another post), fired up some Absolutely Fabulous, and started to knit.

But, the pain is just amazing. It is relentless. And some of you may ask, why haven’t you taken any drugs for this? Because it’s a holiday weekend. Simple. Before? Yeah, no problem. I’ll take the pain, focus on something else. When you’ve been poor and without, you learn to take the pain.

But, tonight? Or this morning, rather? It’s driving me crazy. It is sharp, concise, and distinctly ripping my face with a stabbing detail.

So, I thought I’d just ask for your prayers. I haven’t had my teeth extracted yet, because….well, because I’m terrified. It’s an acknowledgement of a poorly lived life that I can’t escape. But, here we are, and as days progress, it’s just gets worse and worse…..

Even Phillip is now cross with me, citing often, “I am SO tired of seeing you in pain. I won’t have it anymore. YOU WILL get this corrected.”

So, while I wait for my appointment, and watch the world cease for a few days to shrug off labor, I’m here in pain, knitting my little heart out, and trying to remain distracted with hot baths while reading Calvin and Hobbes. (honestly, that’s when I feel the best).

I’ve been clinging to my new rosary (again, more on that later), but hope while the hours scream by with stabbing pain that you’ll just pray for me. All of you always make me feel so much better, so thoughts of you holding me, comforting me, and praying for me would make me feel so much better.

It’s now 6am. Gonna try and crash for a minute.

willknitcoversmallThis is the story of how I knit my way out of homelessness. To order an autographed copy of “Will Knit For Food” click here, or for a Limited Edition personalized, signed paperback copy with t-shirt, click here.

If you appreciate this blog and would like for it continue, please donate!

i am reminded that my spiritual journey is on going.



  1. Hey buddy, try a mix of hydrogen peroxide 3% and water and use as a mouthwash twice a day. Also take regular amounts of vit C every couple of hours. Vit C is a natural antibiotic, prescription free and cheap. You need quite a few grams a day to feel the benefit. Works well too! Take care.

  2. sending you prayers,loving thoughts and healing energy to relieve the pain.please let us know when your appointment for further treatment is,and i will continue to send you appropriate amounts of healing and love…<3

  3. Oh Gregory, I’m so sad thinking of your aching mouth. I’ve been so amazed by all that you’ve accomplished. I could never think of you as a failure. Sending you thoughts of Peace and Comfort as I hug that beautiful purple little bear you knitted for me. Sending you Encouragement as you struggle to decide what to do about your mouth, because no matter what you choose the road to healing is still long and winding. Sending you Hope enough that you might finally see yourself as the wonderfully amazing person who others already see and love. Please take care of yourself.

  4. Dear dear Phillip
    I hope you were able to get some sleep. While your posting was beautifully writes, it’s also so hard to read. Knowing that you hurt so badly is hard. Wish my magic want would truly work. Please get this taken care of asap. Your body will be healthier and I think you’ll be able to move even further from the homelessness in your life.
    I have chronic pain and know what a toll pain takes. It will get better. Hopefully sooner rather later. Sending you healing thoughts from Sacramento. 💜💜💜Billie

  5. You are held in our hearts, in our prayers, and a candle burns in your name.
    Get to the dentist as soon as you can. (Can you tell I’m a Mom?)

  6. Praying for healing, for strength and for comfort for you. Thank goodness you have Phillip to help take care of you in your pain!

  7. I’ve also heard cloves work well. There is very little in this life that is worse than tooth pain (childbirth being one of them). A lot of pain management is about distraction but it’s very difficult to be distracted from tooth pain when it’s stabbing you in the head. I hope this gets resolved for you soon!

  8. Go to your dentist and ask for some antibiotics. Ya wait and wait for the appointment and then he gives you a 3-5 day run of antibiotics before he will do anything. So get them started now. Trust me if there is infection in there and he goes to extract it the Novocain will NOT work. I know this from experience. Last week I went to a dentist here in Superior AZ (after my move from Frankenmuth MI last November) He wants to pull what’s left of the uppers-full plate and a partial on the bottom. Thousands that I don’t have. Second option, pull 3 as the decay is near the nerve root and can not be saved and 3 or four fillings. Even that is thousands I don’t have and then will have no back teeth at all!!! So I just had them cleaned. Thank God there was no gum disease. I’m practically on a gruel diet as it is.
    I agree with the above posts and “OIL of Cloves” works miracles as a temporary fix. I am so happy you found Phillip, wish I could find someone!!! I am so proud of you and all you have accomplished. If I ever get caught up I Really do want one of your Teddy’s and to read your book. I have degenerative disc disease with multiple fusions. I’m glad to be out of Michigan’s cold, ice and snow. You have always been in my prayers and still are today. I am one of Mary’s Rosary Makers. Have been since the Franciscan Monastic days in 1964-1966. The nitrous gas at the dentist helps a lot. Give Phillip a hug and a kiss from me. Hugs, Tobias…Superior AZ.

  9. The hydrogen peroxide is very helpful. And yes, many prayers heading your way. You deserve to not have pain. You have had plenty of it. It is time to allow yourself to accept that you deserve to be happy, healthy and not in pain.

  10. Praying that the pain will get less and you can get some rest. I have a terrible fear of dentists as well so I totally understand why you are putting it off. I finally had some dental work done and I am so much better now and the surgeon was so kind and gentle.

  11. Yes, the clove oil. Or look in the spice section of the grocery store to see if they have a box of whole cloves. Like the ones people used to stud hams with, or stick in oranges at Christmas time. You can put one of those on the sore tooth and bite down with gentle yet constant pressure to release the oil. My mom had us do this when we were kids until she could get us to the dentist. It really works.

  12. Gregory,
    Do not use peroxide, any strength.
    Peroxide damages healthy tissue. Please email me. Let’s see if we can get a handle on this and get you through to your appt.

  13. I have done the agony of teeth, more often than I care to admit. Take a Tylenol ( actemomenphen) tablet, break it between spoons to crack the coating and tuck it into your cheek ( you can do one on each side ) it will numb things enough that you will be able to sleep, keep the tablet there until you eat, then replace them, this really works On terrible mouth pain.

  14. When I had really bad pain like this, I’ve at least managed to get the dentist to numb me up and send me on my way — it was enough to let me get some sleep, and not as hard on my stomach/system as all the NSAID’s and Opiates.

  15. First of all and most important is healing prayers, lots of love, and cyber hugs sent your way in abundance!! Warm super salty water to swish and rinse mouth often as much as you can stand. (Don’t swallow it.) It will help to draw the poison (infection) out of your gums. Any dr will tell you that.
    I agree. No hydrogen peroxide. It will eat at healthy tissue and what’s left of your teeth. (If you don’t believe me, pour some hydrogen peroxide in something small like a shot glass and stick your finger in it for 90 secs to 2 min. Watch what it does to your finger nail.) I also agree with getting the antibiotics asap. Some dentists won’t pull teeth while you have an infection. They’ll give you antibiotics and tell you to come back when they are done. So call that dentist first thing on Tuesday and have him write you a prescription for antibiotics. If he won’t do it without seeing you, then go to nearest urgent care clinic or some one who takes walk in’s. Take your knitting. You may have a bit of a wait on Tuesday a.m.
    I understand the terrified part about dentists as I am too. In this case you no longer have a choice. YOU CAN DO THIS. If need be, take your bear with you, then you won’t be alone. You are never alone. We will be thinking of you the whole time!…

  16. I will always send you love and healing wishes, whether you are in pain or not! But I agree with everyone, please go to the dentist and get on proper antibiotics ASAP. An infection could be now causing you bigger problems. Please take this action … There will be relief and healing right on the other side. All my love! oxo

  17. I do feel for you, having walked around with an untreated abscess because of fear. I found out afterwards that tooth/gum infections can be bad for the rest of your body, so please try and get treatment soon. Meanwhile, I am thinking of you and sending best wishes.

  18. Gregory–
    As someone who has had her own share of dental pain (had a couple of teeth pulled and oral surgery twice because of a gum infection), the only advice I can share is this: ICE CREAM. It’s a temporary “fix,” but if you’ve got a Dairy Queen or some other soft serve place near you, keeping your mouth cold can numb your mouth for a little while.
    Good luck to you!

  19. I am with Phillip on this one! Please get some help. Teeth tend to get worse and infections are nothing to ignore. My father-in-law is a retired dentist and he can tell you stories about people waiting too long to extract a bad tooth. The past is the past. Don’t be ashamed of how your teeth got in this condition. Today is the first day to getting help. Make an appt and keep it. Many people here in my town go to the dental school at the local university for their dental care. Price is much, much cheaper and professors are always standing there ready to assist. I have never heard of anyone having a problem. Two words…nitrous oxide. 🙂 Praying for you, your upcoming dental appt ;), for the doctor who will do the extraction, and for healing.

  20. Hi Gregory, Try this. Coconut Oil has antibiotic properties. Take about a tablespoon of coconut oil (kind of gross at first)…and put it in your mouth, then swish it around like mouthwash, let it mix up with your saliva, keep swishing for about five minutes. Then spit it out into a cup or a tissue. There are posts on the internet about this, it is called coconut oil pulling. I do this on a regular basis and my checkups have been a whole lot better. Anyway, give it a try, and I will be praying for you. Yup, I’m a Mom and a Grandma! Judy

  21. I am so sorry you are going through such pain. Sending lots of prayers and good wishes your way. I hope you will be feeling better soon and everything will work out at the dentist. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers for everything to be fixed and you will no longer be in pain and suffer. I got the beautiful bears today and they brightened my day considerably. Thank you so much you are truly an artist. I look forward to reading your future posts and seeing where your journey takes you. Take care

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.