The Distraction of Hope

I haven’t written a blog in 10 days. Sorry about that. I’ve been in some pain, and pain can be distracting. It can drive your focus to that and only that. Pain. I’d be knitting and focus hard, VERY HARD, on the counting of rows, on the complexities of increasing and decreasing.I was trying to distract myself and it would work….somewhat.

In the middle of a bad day of pain, Phillip and I were discussing getting married. When? How?

Easy. Phillip suggested we get married on the 22nd of September. It’s the Autumnal Equinox, when there is both exact amount of sunlight and darkness. Balance. Nothing is greater than the other. Equality.

I thought that was sweet, kind, thoughtful. So, our day at the courthouse will be on the 22nd of September. Now, there won’t be a ceremony, just the two of us exchanging our sacred vow of, “I promise to be with you as long as you want me!” (It’s a joke between us :))

However, we are going to have a little reception that following Saturday. Nothing fancy, just blue jeans, boots, beer and barbecue in the little strip of grass next to our apartment where we’ve been growing our garden. We’ve invited a few members of our friends and family community. And you know what? The moment we had it settled and decided, I was so focused on the future, so greatly smiling over hope, that my body didn’t hurt so much anymore. Hope distracted me from the pain, and I have to say, I haven’t felt better in a long time. I kept thinking, soon, on a cool day in September, that garden will be filled with people wishing us well.

I picked up my knitting needles, went out to the garden, sat among the green and felt better, working up hope in the shape of teddy bears, working up hope in my books, and in the form of tomato plants and green beans, in the form of the best relationship  I’ve ever had that needed very little work, with wishes for a little plot of land for ourselves, that my work brings me peace, and that whatever I learn about the world, how ever I may feel, that my spirit is always lifted with the distraction of hope.

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17 comments

  1. There’s no need to apologize. That sounds like an amazingly perfect plan. I’m so happy for you both.

    My wedding took place the day after the Summer Solstice. I was so busy planning I hadn’t taken the time to notice. Luckily, we had a friend marry us (long story) and he incorporated the June Solstice into the ceremony because he’s awesome like that. It certainly makes for a memorable day!

    You’ll find a lot of pain management has to do with distraction. I’m glad you were able to find such a positive one!

    It sounds next to impossible, but I try to visualize whatever pain I’m experiencing as an illusion. It is not something that is happening TO me, it is my perception of the pain.

  2. Congratulations to you both. I am so happy for you. You two finding each other with so much love gives me hope that somewhere in this big state of Arizona there is someone for me. God bless you both. Hugs, Tobias…

  3. Greg, I am still worried about you having infection from your teeth. Bacteria can get into your bloodstream and go to your heart where it will do some serious damage. Look, if you go to amazon.com and type in fish mox or amoxicillin you can order Amoxicillin capsules without a prescription. I have ordered them before form a different source and treated myself for infections. I just happen to like that drug as it’s always worked well for me but as it’s a penicillin derivative a person allergic to penicillin can’t take it.

  4. What an inspiring message. My deepest congratulations to you and Phillip. You deserve joy and peace and hope in limitless quantity.

  5. Have you seen Vidyamala Birch”s work at Breathworks for managing pain? Also consider some impermanence work. I live with constant pain and find her idea of:
    If you are approaching pain with denial – move in your focus.
    If with overwhelm – broaden your focus.

  6. Congrats to both you and Phillip! Hope can move mountains when necessary. You keep telling yourself “I got this!” every day and you will get past the pain. I am so glad for you both!🙂

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