Maybe I do get scared sometimes.
I received a comment earlier today, where someone said they were unsubscribing because they were tired of the “beg-athon.” They continued with, “You’re trying too hard.”
Maybe I am. Or maybe I’m not trying hard enough. I’m not sure which version I’m in pursuit of at the moment, but I’ll tell you this much: which ever version keeps me from being homeless again, I’ll stick with. I’m never going back there. Ever.
I lost quite a few subscriptions today. It breaks my heart, it really does. No one wants to see people flee, but I have to take it on the chin and remember, “not everyone is going to like you.” It’s part of life. When you put yourself in the public arena, you have only yourself to blame for any backlash you may face. That’s a truth. And why? Not everyone is going to like you. And you have to come to terms with that. You simply have to. You can’t live in a bubble where people puke “I love you” as readily as poop rainbows. You have to hear what people say, and then graciously thank them for being a part of your journey and let them go.
I don’t blame them. I, too, get sick of always asking people to buy my books, my bears, toss a few dollars in the yarn bowl. I get sick of it because I want to get to that little part of my soul that says, “we have our little home, we have food on the table….now, let’s go out and do everything in our power to help others.” And daily….daily I do what I can to get there. Some people take offense. I understand. I’m forever “trying too hard.”
Parts of me hurt, parts of me are not what they used to be. But, these hands can still knit furiously and write beautifully. (I need to start owning that more. I need to start telling MYSELF I’m actually a very good writer, and that is said not to promote conceit, but to invite confidence).
I’m on a very short quest. I want my little home, I want my Howard’s End, I want what Phillip and I call “Honeychurch,” and I will not stop. I just can’t. Because there isn’t much time in life, and when you have a goal you need to pursue it fervidly and immediately and never look back. You have to stand up, thank those that criticize you, then get back to your goal.
Like I’ve said before, even if it’s an Airstream parked on an acre of land, that’s our home, our Howard’s End….our “Honeychurch.” So that we can then start to hold out our hands to others and help and say, “we know this road; we can help.”
So, I’m sorry if some of you find this a constant “beg-athon.” But, I do understand. However, I do not apologize. Because I hope YOU understand why I’m doing this. I’m going to knit and write my little heart out until I have the ability to help others, otherwise…..this, all of this, will have been for nothing.
I once had a dream where I had lunch with Madonna and I asked her, “What is the secret to your success. I mean the REAL secret.”
She said, “It’s all how you treat people. Those that work with you should be treated with high regard. They’re on your level, they appreciate what you want. Those that work for you, should be treated with exceptional compassion. It’s not easy being in your shadow and tolerating your tyranny. And the people that work against you? Treat them to dinner and try and change their mind.”
So! Proudly I put my donate button, and continue to link to my shop.
If you appreciate this blog and would like for it continue, please donate. Every single bit helps.