“I’m Sick of Your Beg-athon.”

Maybe I do get scared sometimes.

I received a comment earlier today, where someone said they were unsubscribing because they were tired of the “beg-athon.” They continued with, “You’re trying too hard.”

Maybe I am. Or maybe I’m not trying hard enough. I’m not sure which version I’m in pursuit of at the moment, but I’ll tell you this much: which ever version keeps me from being homeless again, I’ll stick with. I’m never going back there. Ever.

I lost quite a few subscriptions today. It breaks my heart, it really does. No one wants to see people flee, but I have to take it on the chin and remember, “not everyone is going to like you.” It’s part of life. When you put yourself in the public arena, you have only yourself to blame for any backlash you may face. That’s a truth. And why? Not everyone is going to like you. And you have to come to terms with that. You simply have to. You can’t live in a bubble where people puke “I love you” as readily as poop rainbows. You have to hear what people say, and then graciously thank them for being a part of your journey and let them go.

I don’t blame them. I, too, get sick of always asking people to buy my books, my bears, toss a few dollars in the yarn bowl. I get sick of it because I want to get to that little part of my soul that says, “we have our little home, we have food on the table….now, let’s go out and do everything in our power to help others.” And daily….daily I do what I can to get there. Some people take offense. I understand. I’m forever “trying too hard.”

IMG_5521Parts of me hurt, parts of me are not what they used to be. But, these hands can still knit furiously and write beautifully. (I need to start owning that more. I need to start telling MYSELF I’m actually a very good writer, and that is said not to promote conceit, but to invite confidence).

I’m on a very short quest. I want my little home, I want my Howard’s End, I want what Phillip and I call “Honeychurch,” and I will not stop. I just can’t. Because there isn’t much time in life, and when you have a goal you need to pursue it fervidly and immediately and never look back. You have to stand up, thank those that criticize you, then get back to your goal.

Like I’ve said before, even if it’s an Airstream parked on an acre of land, that’s our home, our Howard’s End….our “Honeychurch.” So that we can then start to hold out our hands to others and help and say, “we know this road; we can help.”

So, I’m sorry if some of you find this a constant “beg-athon.” But, I do understand. However, I do not apologize. Because I hope YOU understand why I’m doing this. I’m going to knit and write my little heart out until I have the ability to help others, otherwise…..this, all of this, will have been for nothing.

I once had a dream where I had lunch with Madonna and I asked her, “What is the secret to your success. I mean the REAL secret.”

She said, “It’s all how you treat people. Those that work with you should be treated with high regard. They’re on your level, they appreciate what you want. Those that work for you, should be treated with exceptional compassion. It’s not easy being in your shadow and tolerating your tyranny. And the people that work against you? Treat them to dinner and try and change their mind.”

So! Proudly I put my donate button, and continue to link to my shop. 

If you appreciate this blog and would like for it continue, please donate. Every single bit helps.

 

 

36 comments

  1. I applaud you good sir, standing up for what you believe in and trying to better yourself.

    I believe without goals or dreams we just waste away to nothing.

    I too wish I could do more, your bears are worth every penny, and one day I will be able to buy one.

    Keeping promoting you and your work, be proud of you.

    Sending prayers and well wishes.

      1. Gregory Patrick, “Beg a thon” all ya want… the more the better. Someday I’ll reach my dreams “as bleak as it seems at the moment” and will be able to afford one of yur bears and yur books. I Love YOU and you have no idea how yur posts give me (A former Franciscan OFM Brother) renewed hope to live each day to the fullest and to keep on keeping on. Looking forward to yur next beg a thon. And just look at all the adds the media keep throwin’ at us on TV the Internet newspapers etc. Keep Beggin’ St Francis was a beggar and a damn good one too!!! Hugs Tobias, Superior AZ

  2. Anyone who would use a phrase like “Begathon” is out of touch with how much homelessness there is in this country. Many people live from tiny paycheck to tiny paycheck, praying that the rent doesn’t go up, hoping there is enough to feed their kids. Many of us are either unemployed or underemployed. You play a vital role in reminding the rest of us just how lucky we are to have homes, cars, phones, clothing and enough cash to go to yarn shops and buy awesome yarn. Beyond your Blog, I encourage all your fans to share knit wear or yarn with those with no shelter, inadequate food and little hope for positive change. Keep us awake and aware.

  3. Those “unsubscribers” are the ones who lack empathy. Those are the ones who are unable and incapable of putting themselves in the shoes of another person, another human being.

    I have compassion for those people, for they lack awareness and understanding of suffering. A life’s path is not the newest technology, the latest trend or even a collection of memes. A life’s path contains the altruistic desire to relieve another human being of their suffering.

  4. Sometimes it is good to just tell it like it is and I think that is what you have done. Keep on knitting and writing.

  5. As I read this posting I was sitting next to one of your bears. The past few years have been very tough. Reading your beautiful words, hearing of you adventures/wedding plans (YEAH) always brings me joy/peace.

  6. I hope all those people who unsubscribed because they feel it’s a “beg-a-thon” never find themselves in a position where they need help. I personally know it can happen to anybody. One day your working hard to take care of others and then the next day you are physically unable to do it. Through no fault of your own you become one of those people looked down upon. Someone that needs help. What those people don’t see is that you are working by knitting and writing…your beautiful thoughts of things getting better. It has definitely kept my spirit up about my own situation getting better and to that i am very thankful. Don’t let the unkindness of others discourage you. I hope things get better.

  7. Keep knitting, keep writing, keep loving, and jettison those who don’t lift your spirits and embrace your ideals. I’m looking forward to getting my books!

  8. Please keep writing and knitting – and begging if needed. I feel privileged to share the story of your journey. I get a happy little “zing” when I see a new post from you is waiting for me to open, each one is its own little bit of hand-crafted goodness, just like my beloved bear. Carry on my dear, your legions of TRUE fans love hearing from you, no matter what. Hugs to you and Phillip and Mario.

  9. I’m just adding to what everyone has said. People who have never known serious, scary difficulties don’t understand what it’s like and even have to flee from it because at a deep, dark level it frightens them. They have to deny it exists so they can feel safe.

    1. Always read your posts, your story is uplifting and you deserve to succeed after all your struggles.
      Life is not easy for so many people today, I live in the UK and, though it is not perfect, I appreciate our free health service. I can’t imagine not being able to receive treatment whenever needed.
      I hope you and Phillip succeed with all your dreams and that your health improves.
      Donation sent.
      Love Kate

  10. I’m so sorry you got trolled. It’s horrifying to read and hear about how selfish and downright nasty some people are these days, and it seems as if there are more of them every day.
    I really admire how you found a way to get off the streets and are fighting to keep your new life. If you need some help, you should not have to feel ashamed to ask for it. Keep plugging away and don’t let the jerks get you down.

  11. Isn’t incredibly disappointing when you pour your heart out and then get a reaction like that? As blogger (though not consistent at the moment) I find myself looking at that unsubscribe and wondering…so many different things. But once we’ve made that commitment to be transparent and vulnerable that sort of thing will simply happen. Bless you for your courage, determination, and fierce commitment to sharing your journey. For those open to it, you deliver huge doses of inspiration!

  12. I mentioned in one of my previous comments that for about half of 2012 I was homeless and sleeping in my car. I never felt completely homeless because I had my little chi-min pin dog with me. And I had a dependable car. I sometimes had trouble keeping gas in it, but never ran completely out. Knitting and online sales kept me going. Right at the end of my homelessness I met a man who didn’t let my circumstances bother him. We married in 2013 after dating for 4 mos and we are in the process of building a new home. We have a wonderful contented marriage.

    So I understand completely how much every sale means to you. It’s your livelihood. Never ever let the downers get to you.. You do what you have to do!

    Blessings Gregory!!

  13. Have you tried networking to sell your book and your bears. We do lots of networking groups to sell services and businesses in England. There are lots and i’m sure they do it in America too. Good luck

  14. One of the things I have learned along this rough road is that you can’t please everyone all the time. So the most important person to please is YOU. That is what counts the most. I don’t make a lot of money and struggle a bit myself. I’ve never lived alone, as long as I have this time, in my entire life. I have friends at work and online, but no one to come home to or wake up next to. You understand what that silence feels like. You first were given Mario, and then Phillip, then Bacon. You have been blessed and continue to be more blessed as each day goes by. Keep that in mind. Everyone has a right to their own opinion. Nothing says you have to agree with it or even like it. The snooty ones have voiced their opinion and moved on. All the better that they are gone, I say.

    I don’t have a lot to spare but I do try to help when I have little left over from my overtime or there is an extra paycheck in the month. (Happens twice a year.) I bought your latest book and the bear pattern even though I’ve never used double ended needles in my life. Eventually I was able to save up enough to order a bear. (I excitedly await his arrival patiently.) I donate a little when I can. I ordered “FOE” at the beginning of April since this was one of those extra paycheck months. (Looking forward to reading that one too.) I don’t tell you this for gratitude Gregory. I tell you this to let you know that there are others out there who like you, have health issues and not much to spare, but we are still helping you & Phillip, Mario & Bacon; and supporting you every way possible. Whether it’s buying a book, a pattern, or a bear, or simply hitting the “Like” button on your blog, because we look forward to your blog entries, and we are still here to support you. You aren’t alone. The rest of us look forward to you sharing your moments and your craft, whether in words, or stitches, because you remind us that WE aren’t alone, in spite of all our struggles. Count those blessings as you would your stitches for there is love spun in both.

    Keep on writing, and stitching when you can, my friend.
    Sincerely,
    ~Zanna~
    a.k.a. Dreamspinr

  15. Good morning Gregory,

    sorry to hear that, but some people are like this: happy to jump in for the fun, quick to step down when something more serious happens, or has to be dealt with.

    Childish ! But I realize more and more than the world is full of these people, maybe that’s the standard ? Anyway, in Italy we say: “better to loose them than to find them – meglio perderli che trovarli”.

    What counts is the core of friends who are with you, showing you warmth and support, so we carry on and don’t worry about the rest.

    I wish you a great day, and for whatever, you know I am here.

    Big big hugs to all of You

    G

    Please have a look at my first attempt of a cushion. Doesn’t it look gorgeous ? How would you see a man scarf knitted this way ?

    Ciao

    G

  16. Not going anywhere, still subscribing (and you were in Let’s Get Crafting Knit & Crochet again this month, hurrah!)… if people don’t like it, they don’t have to read it, but there’s no need to be unkind, is there? In fact, I wish I had half your courage, can’t remember the last time I said, ‘buy my book’ (it’s a fantasy novel, not RL memoir, don’t bother, really, even though it is excellent, not even telling you the title, see…?)

    But I digress.

    Keep doing what you do, you do it with so much grace and love and you feel like a friend, to me, and I don’t ditch my friends just because they’re proud of what they’ve done.

  17. I applaud your bravery. I’ve found that when I’ve not felt well, or stressed, or under verbal attack, that I want to hide in my shell and retreat. You do the opposite. You stand tall and say ‘This is who I am, this is where I am, this is what’s happening’. That takes courage in itself, so thank you for showing me how to be courageous and have the heart to keep doing the things you love.

  18. Hi ! That’s pretty harsh… I mean, I do understand that the constant begging can become too much. It happens every day in the streets and sometimes we can’t bear to read more once at home. When we have one. But the very reason why we read you is because we care, and we don’t want you back there in the streets. I do wonder why those people were following you in the first place ? Were they expecting a fairytale ? I honestly don’t know, and I don’t blame anyone. I understand both side. I feel sorry you are in this situation. I wish I could do more. Don’t let it cripple you. You know who you are and how strong you are. You know people here have your back.

  19. You have to be true to yourself, which you are and honest which is what makes you so real to even us who live far away, in space and world terms. I tend to think that those who unsubscribe save you the hassle of disagreeing with them. We are all in charge of our own actions and no one else! they chose to follow and then chose not to, their world and issue. I am so proud to see how far you have come and love hearing the little slices of your world, from Mario to Philip, your dreams and your health. we worry with you and share your joys, find smiles in the smallest things and look on the bright side. Thank you for you ‘beg-a-thon’ blog and I hope they never know what it is to be desperate, and if they do that other support and help them as they haven’t done to you.

  20. Everyone who is faced with raising their own financial support in the world knows it’s hard work and not every person will understand. Just keep owning all your dreams and working toward them every day – the people who dropped out have their own hills to climb and don’t have time or interest in helping you get to the top of yours – and those people are not your responsibility. Look where you are compared to past years – you’re in love, your business is cooking along, you have a sweet little space and your fur-buddies – you’re winning.❤

  21. I wonder what it is that makes people feel they need…NEED…to spout the bad. Didn’t everyone’s mom tell them (thump into them :)) if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything? I read your blog because I love that you are trying so hard to make a good life for yourself….aren’t we all? I firmly believe that the people who unfollowed you have issues of their own & it had nothing to do with you. You carry on doing that voodoo that you do and I’ll keep following along.

  22. I’m sorry you lost some subscribers and that it hurt you. You deal with enough as it is and it hurts me to see you hurt further. But you are absolutely right to stay true to yourself. First, I have never thought of your blog as a beg-athon, omg! Conversely I admire you for being a great marketer! Anyone who sells a product or service always needs to keep selling. It is not begging, it is reminding people what your product or service is. That’s how you reach people, thru repetition.

    Awhile back I was going to suggest you try Kickstarter or something similar, and I signed on to tell you so, only to see that someone had suggested it and you just couldn’t bring yourself to do it. I would have zero disappointment in you if you were to change your mind. But I so admired you for not taking that route. Beggar? Bullshit!

    A few quotes that remind me of you …

    “You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage … Pleasantly, smilingly, not apologetically … To say ‘no’ to other things. And the way you do that is by having a bigger ‘yes’ burning inside.” Stephen Covey. This is you! I’m glad you won’t apologize for simply saying yes to what burns inside you.

    “Surround yourself with people who get it.” We can’t all subscribe to everything. I unsubscribe to some things simply because there isn’t time to read everything. But it’s not a personal attack on the person I once subscribed to. Which leads me to the last quote…

    “Be kind whenever possible.
    It is always possible.”
    Dalai Lama

    It was totally not necessary for any subscriber to be unkind. Easier said than done for a sensitive person, but Carolyn is right … It’s not about you, it’s about them. I, for one, am filled with joy by your beautiful way with words and your love-infused teddy bears. oxo

  23. I would never call it a beg-athon. You are an entrepreneur. Words and wool. Nothing wrong with that. Go on, make your dreams come true. Just like they are intended.

  24. You are an independent artist. As such you have to relentlessly promote your work, as well as produce it. That isn’t begging. That’s working. Hard.

    Keep it up, lovely Gregory. We think you are fabulous!🙂

  25. Oh, and don’t underestimate how much help you already give. I’m sure I’m not alone in having been encouraged by you. You don’t have to reach your Honeychurch to be able to support other people, you are doing that already.

    I pray you reach Honeychurch tho. For you. And your little family. After all, why not? X

  26. Hi Gregory, I’m usually not one to reach out to those I don’t know on the Internet but I felt compelled to this time. I’m sorry that someone went out of their way to be cruel to you and I just wanted you to know that I find your blogs to be deep, interesting, and spiritually fufilling. Your blogs are so much more than the “begathons” the unsubsciber said they are. The fact that you promote your books on your blog is nothing to be ashamed of and is in fact quite clever. If you didn’t promote them on your blog how would anyone know about them or buy them? I just wanted to let you know that the love your subscribers have for you far outweighs the dissatisfaction your unsubscribers have for you. Sometimes it can be difficult to see that from the inside. Keep up the good work and never let your passion to attain your dreams die.

    -Amanda

  27. I read EVERY blog post and receive inspiration from your writing. It inspired me to befriend a guest of our winter shelter and help him as I can – and he has become a precious friend! So your witness spreads. Keep on keeping on. You do not come across as a “beggathon”, but rather one who simply asks for what is needed.

  28. #1. First and foremost you have never “begged” for anything that I have EVER seen throughout the last few years of reading your blog. Offering something for sale (book or bears) in an effort to thwart homelessness is not begging, its being an entrepreneur with a purpose.

    #2. Remember something really important. How people treat you is not necessarily indicative of YOUR journey in life … but rather more about THEIRS. Take that to heart, let them go with love… because if they are willing to give breath, which is = life, to something as heartless as they said to you, it is their insides that are putrid, not yours.

    So buck up creature of this world…. we kind hearted people are behind you, cheering.

    PS: My aunt loved your blog…. and passed away and left behind a rather large collection of high quality fiber and there is no way I can knit all of it. If you are interested reach out to me and we will see about sending some out to you…. maybe you can name the collection you knit with it after her.

  29. I am astonished by the meanness of people sometimes, but I have come to the conclusion that those people have a purpose. Their purpose is to provide an example of the person I do not wish to be. There was no reason to treat you in that fashion, those internet trolls could have unsubscribed and slunk back under the rock they live beneath. But no, they had to prove how little they are and show how low they can stoop, by firing off their little hate missiles. Let them bark into the vacuum! You did nothing wrong, other than provide a means for others to reach out to you and show their support. If that is a sin, then we are all doomed. It can be a cold, cruel world, but there are pockets of warmth, love, caring and community. I hope your pocket continues to grow and thrive. Much aloha to you, Philip, Mario and Bacon.
    Big hugs,
    Kara

    PS: I am a knitter. I would love to send you yarn from my stash. Let me know when you are ready to receive the box I have prepared. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s