Did you ever have one of those amazing days where everything in life seemed just as it should, where nothing terrible happened, where you didn’t meet any negativity?
Today was one of those days. And it seems overly sappy and quite trite, but I have to say, today was one of those grand days where life kept lead me with a subtle smile like a meditating Buddha.
I was able to withdraw the funds that have been raised so far from my go fund me campaign to pay off my tax debt. It’s only a quarter of what I owe, but even more so, do you realize how beautiful it was to ask for a money order for that crazy sum and slap a stamp on it with a “Ha! TAKE THAT!” for good measure? And as my hand dropped the envelope into the mail, my heart changed, as if something in the desert had borne a bloom.
Do you know why this day was so great? It wasn’t just paying the tax man, but more, that you loved me so much that you’ve helped me.
Nothing bad could have happened to me, and that God for that. My mood, my heart, my soul, and my spirits were all lifted with the great comfort that I was loved. But, do you know what it’s like when you remember that you’re loved by someone? Think about that for a spell. I know you all love me. But, when you have an act of kindness graciously delivered to you, you remember what that sort of love can do. It can do wonderful things, not only in action, but in areas of the soul where darkness can supersede and take root.
I’m a blessed man because I am loved by all of you. My tax debt is slowly being eroded. But something deeper happened to me because of the consequences of this. The bitterness I’ve held onto for so long, for five years now, is also slowly ebbing.
I’ve always been optimistic and hopeful, but it would be a lie to say that something bitter had rooted itself inside me, and like a weed, no matter how I pulled it always seemed to grow back. That bitterness was seeded by a resentment I had for myself, for my past, for having made the worse decisions possible that had led me to the path I am on now.
But, like the brilliance of a sunrise, your kindness, and your love, and your best wishes for me eradicated that weed for good. Now? Now, I can’t imagine a life other than the one I have now. I don’t care to think of what life would have been had I not made the one decision that made me homeless. I never would have knit. I never would have written like this. I never would have shared. And in turn, I would not have experienced the most beautiful truth this experience has shown: love really does conquer all.
So, thank you all, from the bottom of my heart, for helping me get this far, for holding me when I needed it, for crying with me when I didn’t want it, for laughing with me when I asked for it, and for lifting me to a point and place where I wish to never return from. I never want to leave you. I mean that.
I’ve never felt I understand the connection to others in life than I do through this moment, from writing this blog for all this time, from having met you, shared with you, and heard you.
I know, I know, I’ve been a touch sappy this time around. I can’t apologize for that, though!
The early evening is shading it’s quiet grey onto the landscape. The buzzing bugs scream in merriment, as the murmur of mother earth begins to hum. All moves into the tender hush of softly rustling leaves, of courageous coos in the distance, of the humidity landing on sleeping flowers with the soft shine of moonbeams. The smell of jasmine warmed by the lost day floats along the current of a breeze seen only by the coming tide of patient stars.
Life is good.
Thank you all again for supporting my Go Fund Me Campaign. That means so much.