Back in March, Phillip and I found a packet of wildflower seeds at Big Lots. Marked down to a dollar for 2,000 seeds, we couldn’t resist. Within just a few weeks, the little hints of green were pushing through the soil, and within a month, a bounty of brilliant leaves were beaming towards the sun…..then it all stopped. No blossoms, no buds, no nothing. They just sat there, lazily gobbling up raindrops, silently sleeping through the rays of a bright day. This morning, some seven months later, I finally spied the fruits of our endeavors. One lovely little flower was proudly standing as a bold regent, ready to enjoy the fragrant air, ready to praise with petal and prayer the life around it. That flower could not have come at a more poetic time.
After so long of feeling ill, of being in pain, of watching myself slowly wither, the last two weeks have been a reminiscent of that little flower’s fortitude. It never gave up, it never stopped growing, but rather, kept pushing itself harder and harder into the sunlight. I cannot tell you how much better I have felt, how different everything seems when your body falls back into harmony. I’m no longer on medication, my energy is soaring (as a matter of fact, I jump out of bed at 5am, ready to see the day, ready to greet the sun), my skin even feels different, my eyes are back to wide, my smile has returned (not a grin, mind you, but a slight tilt of the lips that screams of quiet contentment). And in a matter of weeks, I’ll have my new teeth…and I imagine there will be no stopping me then 🙂
I’ve spent the last two weeks shying from social media, from interaction of any sort, really. I wanted to make sure I spent that time in gratitude. I light my prayer candle and give thanks that the pain is gone, that I feel good again. In my own sort of contemplative and hermetic nature, I wanted to spend time alone with my God, to thank Him, and to be quiet in that presence. But, it was also important for me to dwell in prayer on the idea of what that little flower brought to fruition today: that struggling, hard work, perseverance and faith will always result in beauty.
Despite technology trying to force us into an “on demand” world, life and it’s enjoyments are born of long term determination. The things in life that give us the greatest attachment to the real world are those things that take time to cultivate, to work at, or work through, to struggle with, or to build for. Successes (which are subjective to your own pursuits) that come quickly, vanish just as fast. But, those things that are tenderly cultivated for so long, take so much longer to fade away into memory. Patience yields a harvest. It’s that simple. Frantic attempts to get something quickly, bears only anxiety and fear. Just think of where we were just a few years ago….think, then, of how far we have come. And I (and anyone who should read this blog) should always remember to be grateful for what we have accomplished, rather than petulant about what we have yet to achieve. Those things will happen in time. My knitting is off the charts at the moment, and my next book (my children’s book) is nearly finished. One might set the tone here and say, “This is the start of something marvelous…,” to which I would have to respond kindly, “the moment we began this journey was the start of something miraculous.” 😉
I’ll be writing more, but just wanted to quickly check in and tell you how much I’ve missed you.
I love you all, and hope you are well!
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