I take no hesitation in saying that I love watching old episodes of “Mother Angelica Live.”
Last night Phillip and I went to bed. He was cut loose from work early because it was slow. He came home to find me wrapped in afghans on the couch, watching “Murder, She Wrote,” and only smiled. I love my little old ladies. Hush! I was wrapped in a giant afghan made of homespun. It’s huge and cream colored. I looked like the scrawniest, sickliest, albeit darn cutest, little viking ever. 🙂
But once we went to bed at about 10pm , I could tell my illness these last few days were truly bothering him. Every 20 minutes I had a coughing fit lat lasted about 20 minutes. He’d roll over and groan, slowly moan and grumble. Every time I coughed that badly I went to get another glass of orange juice, until about 2am where I decided, “Well, damn….I guess I’m up.”
I was cold, wrapped in all sorts of flannel, but still sweating, freezing. I got the coffee started and moved on to what we all do. We check to see if the world has forgotten us, or what the world has done without us, or what madness has gotten itself into without first telling us. I turned on the news, social media, opened the phone…..
The world was a disaster. I hacked and coughed and spent an hour reading through headlines and facebook threads and the world was a disaster. I coughed so hard at one point I thought I had lost enough oxygen to even breathe.
No matter what happens in life, listen to that little voice in your head that says, “Walk away.” You should listen to it, take heed. It knows better than you do. That is instinct telling you that flight is a safer way to handle your survival the fight.
So somewhere around an hour ago, I cracked open a beer (I’d only been asleep for two hours, hoping a beer would settle me into a longer sleep), and pulled up an old episode of Mother Angelica Live. Perhaps its the old monk in me, perhaps my contemplative side that doesn’t need the realms of religion and piousness to lure me into fruitful thought. Perhaps she just makes me feel better.
I will tell you this. I did not cough once throughout that entire episode. The sickness of the world is contagious, however, so is the beauty of the world, just as much affecting as any other stimulus that demands response from the soul. I put myself in a place where I felt connected, secure. And that isn’t to say that Mother Angelica Live would do the same to you. But, in the deeper areas from where my heart bleeds, from the nested places from where my mind dreams, that was where I needed to be. Surrounded by the comforting aura of a once adored friend.
I had another beer. Why not? The show is an hour long, filling time. Still no coughing. Though the show was 20 years old, the topic was just as valid today. The media, politics, and gossip attempt to sway us into a world of battle lines, of pitted sides, of friends becoming foes….and as I sat there with my beer I thought only of that great line in Mathew. “What goes into someone’s mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them.”
And I see all of these tweets, and all of these facebook feeds, news reports, instagram hits….EVERYONE is ready to angrily destroy the other. Yes, in Las Vegas, evil struck. But, it doesn’t mean it won. But you’re allowed to believe that through the trappings of pushing anger and vitriol and political discourse that this is who we are, and that it isn’t our faults, we’re just responding…..
….but that response could be what makes you just as nasty as the people that are URGING you to say it. So be careful of what you say on issues so heartbreaking as these.
I do believe I’ll have ONE more beer…..and read a touch of Thomas Merton to ground myself, rather than hear the pounding pundits of social media socialites tell me they are experts on who and what is to blame for evil. The defilement of our society is coming more and more from not what happened, but what is said about it. Go have a cocktail already. Leave the defilement behind.
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