So a friend came over to check on my health, which is doing much better by the way. I’m getting my energy back little by little every day. Phillip set up a space in his little garden area for me to sit and write in the Spring morning light. I’m looking forward to showing you pics of that in my next post. I still have the cough, and we’ve learned that it pretty much stops when the air in the house is above 80 degrees. If it drops below 70, it hits me hard, so hard I can’t breathe. Humidity is also my enemy, so we’re looking forward to having this all out of my system before the wet season gets here in June. But, over all, I’m feeling so much better. But, it was my friend’s visit that had me cringing with disapproval. I got angry, dismissive, and went looking in my soul for that ambition that has eluded me these last months.
Phillip and I have always had our little dream of a little house of our own, with its little garden of fresh tomatoes, and window boxes full of flowers. While I was sick, he drew a little picture on our kitchen black board of our little place to help make me feel better. A place we’ll name in homage to E.M. Forster: “Honeychurch.”
Now, when my friend was here she saw the picture, asked what it was about and I told her, to which she sort of laughingly responded, “You’ll never own a house.”
“Well, how? You’ll never make enough money to own a house. How are you going to do that? Selling teddy bears?”
“Teddy bears and books.”
She sort of scoffed. “Oh, yeah…I forgot. Your ‘books.’ They’re hardly bestsellers.”
“You know, sometimes the only thing that stands in the way of your goals are negative obstacles. Like people and their opinions of what you can and can’t do.”
“Don’t get me wrong, goals are important to have….just as long as they’re achievable.”
WTF???? What is the point of having a goal then? You can aspire to acquire or become anything in the world you want, but you have to have something to strive for, and every day you do at least ONE thing to get you closer to that achievement. Oh, it made me mad, SO mad that someone I call a friend doesn’t believe in my successes. I mean, think of it. I wanted to shake the shit out of her and say, “LOOK HOW FAR MY GOAL HAS GOTTEN THIS FAR!!!! You don’t think I can go any FURTHER????? THIS isn’t proof enough for you?????”
Maybe it will take one bear at a time, maybe it will take selling a book that is already almost 10 years old. (Its still one helluva good book, I’ll find a new audience to read it). The point is, the only person standing in the way of your dreams is you. I’m not going to let someone else tell me I’m just never going to be successful enough to win my goal. Why in the world would I give someone else that much power? You don’t have to cut them out of your life, just smile with pity at them, for the truth is, they probably feel even WORSE about their own goals and dreams. And if they know they’ll never achieve their own, then they want to make sure you don’t either.
So, here’s my bear for the day. Yep, one bear at a time, if that is what it takes. He’s a one of a kind. Not another like him. Just like all of us. If you’d like to adopt him, click here.
I’ve also finished another Crayon Bear. There’s only one. So be sure to snag him before he’s gone. Click here to take him home.
See ya’ll next time when I show my little writing space in Phillip’s garden.
If you appreciate this blog and would like for it to continue, please donate to help keep it going. We couldn’t do it without your support!