When a Teddy Bear Goes Into Panic Mode

I thought after last night’s blog post that I had this in the bag, that I was going to finish paying the rent, so I went to bed about 9pm, early enough to lay in bed and visualize it happening. Don’t ever underestimate the power of visualization, or of prayer, for that matter.

I visualized getting this apartment, I visualized this new life of mine that had become so much better. Now, I’m visualizing keeping it and when the time is right, moving forward into more successes. After all, many of you know the struggles it took me just to get to this point. And I fought every single one of them and made it happen. And in my mind? This is just the beginning.

So, I went to sleep visualizing all of my teddy bears selling and I walking down to the office to finish paying the rent.

Somewhere around 3am I woke. I was too anxious. I started the coffee, jumped to the laptop…

No. Not even close. However! The post office did refund me like $1.87 out of nowhere. I guess there was a software glitch and they overcharged me on some postage of teddy bears that went out recently. Doesn’t matter. I’ll take it. Always thank the Universe for unseen windfalls.

(That could be the Universe testing you. As much as you demand of the Universe big things, maybe the Universe wants to see if you’ll be grateful for even the smallest of blessings it provides. Hell, I’m always the first person to pick up a penny off the street and thank the Universe for putting money right in front of me).

So, I pulled up a copy of my lease just to see how much trouble I could be in. As usual, there is a fee. We all know this. What I didn’t realize was that there was an additional $20 PER DAY after that. Jesus….

In a panic I grabbed my needles. Throw something new into the mix. I dunno. Give your bear stripes. BOOM! DONE! So, I whipped up this little guy this morning. Fun! But, the whole while I was working on him I was thanking the Universe for every little thing that it has given me, hoping the Universe would listen and hand me something really REALLY big so that I could take care of this, learn from it, and move on.

There is some part of me that really did get so wrapped in my recent posts that I wasn’t paying attention to what was happening around me. Those posts, I think, were some of my best work to date. People really responded to them well. I felt safe being in this new place. I felt emotionally, spiritual, and physically that I was in a “good place.”

And then the sand bag dropped, the curtain came up and it was me naked on stage going, “Holy crap…,” with my trousers around my ankles.

Can you imagine what possibilities any one of us could have if we were able to constantly stay in the “good place” where all that you do is done without the distraction of life? Ha! That’s the irony. No writer (or knitter!) worth their salt has anything of value to say if they have not experienced the blessing of having to be snapped out of the “good place” now and then to remind them of life. 🙂

I don’t regret any of that writing, any of those posts. I only regret investing so much time with them, rather than tending to real life instead.

So, I have one last chance to really push push push, even throwing in my adorable new “Fun With Stripes Bear” to the mix. All of them are delightful and I would be so honored to have one of my bears in your home. You can click here to have one of them.

I certainly have learned a valuable lesson on this. Don’t rest on your laurels when things are going well. Tides eventually crest and crash. I hope the Universe takes mercy on me and accepts my penance. If I can get through this, and through this quickly, I will never let this happen again. I’ve gained too much to crash so fast….And please, Lord, don’t let my punishment last too much longer.

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  1. In the words of Douglas Adams, “Don’t panic.” Hang in there, I bought a pink bear with the adorable white face. Others will follow. I am borderline agoraphobic, I know how far you have come. You are brave. You are loved.

  2. As somebody who runs a very small business, and has to make a living from it, I understand your comments.

    Why don’t you start each month focussed on the goal of making enough money for what you need for the month to survive. That is your core business , ie knitting bears.

    Once that is done, and you have enough for the rent and bills for the money the, you could allow yourself the freedom to blog about what interests / excites you?

  3. Have you ever considered doing your critters in college colors? Can you imagine a youngster going off to year one, first time out of the nest, with an appropriate critter to snuggle.

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