Today the husband of the co-founding team that created Ravelry, Casey Forbes, announced that he was….”trans.”
Ok. I feel bad for the guy, I really do. First he was given some bad business advice. “Burn the house down, who ever survives is your core customer base. Everybody else? Let them perish.” Now it seems he’s being given some really bad crisis management advice. “Ok. Claim the highest totem on the victim pole. No one will DARE criticize you.”
I have all ideas Ravelry took a nose dive. Hard and fast. Casey Forbes probably flipped out. The biggest knitting community in the history of the world just belly flopped into a swimming pool devoid of water. They went, “SPLAT!” against the concrete bottom.
Let me also remind you that in a previous post I made sure to let you know that I didn’t want to see Casey Forbes or Ravelry fail. I don’t want to see anyone fail. I’m a capitalist. I want us all to succeed….that is, if you at least TRY.
What this man did is probably the biggest knitting flub in history. He had 8 million followers, his website was the biggest on the planet when it came to knitting. This man probably realized that he was important, fell into some “white knight” mode and decided he was going to save this knitting community….by burning it down. Scorched earth, anyone?
But, then coming out as trans really just….it kinda pisses me off. It’s a cop out. Too easy. I kinda chuckle. You expect this sort of behavior from people who convince themselves they’ve never done anything wrong and the only reason people dislike them is because of their victim status.
No, I don’t dislike you because you are (fill in group name), I dislike you because you’re an A-hole. Yes. I have met many Trans people I loved because of their authenticity and hated countless others because they were just A-holes. Had nothing to do with their victim status, it had everything to do with their personality.
Casey Forbes is the biggest flub in knitting history because he had the biggest, prettiest, most perfectly stitched sweater ever, comforting everyone, inspiring many. Then he dropped a stitch and the whole front came unraveling. Rather than fix the stitch, he just covered it with pretty knit flowers, embellishments and distractions…eventually holding only threads in his hands saying, “It was probably the pattern’s fault….”
The Ravelry brand has now become, “We are a community of victims.” (Of not their race, gender, or sexual orientation, but victims by the choices they made).
My advice to Casey Forbes is to get out of your head, out of your bubble, out of your echo chamber, out of your circle of friends. Go sit by yourself and ask as you demand trans status to avoid the slings and arrows, “Is this really the right thing to do?”
I feel bad for Casey Forbes, I really do. His actions emote those of someone with a mental illness, or of someone mocking someone with a mental illness. Either way, big flop.
If I could tell Casey Forbes and his wife anything? “Sit here, next to me and my friends. I just somehow feel for your own good, you’d be in better company hanging out with us rather than someone telling you that you’re right all the time. There is nothing brave about being trans. But, there is a mighty courage in admitting that you’re wrong.
“You might end up really liking us because we disagree with you. You might find a pleasure in volleyed banter. After all, we’re all knitters, right? Maybe that could be something we can build on? But, we’ll never know until you sit with us….”
(Oh! And for God’s sake, PLEASE don’t post on social media pictures of you dressed in a frock).
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