My Response to an Angry Knitter

I received this comment on my blog last night from a woman who called herself “Angry Knitter.” I read it, thought for a moment, then basically said that I would devote my next blog post to her comment. Because I felt her questions argumentative, but valid. So, rather than you read her comment in full, then read my response, I thought all would be better served if I took each of her comments and answer them one on one, in a more conversational tone. That is after all, what I’ve been begging for.

But, before I begin I would like to thank her for reading my blog posts. In a sea of a bazillion blogs and podcasts and youtube videos, that she should happen to find me, that I might have written something that makes her want to reach out to me, makes me actually very grateful.

So, let’s get on with it….

“You want to “build bridges”. You want to gather together and talk, but Trump’s goal is to build walls. I’m a Mexican. I’m terrified every single day that I live in this country that I’ll be hunted down like an animal by ice, thrown in a van, and put in a camp.”

I’m terrified for you, Angry Knitter, I really am. Because I think the very people that you find comfort in, friendships in, and confidence in are lying to you, and are purposely manipulating your emotions by using fear tactics. The very group that you seek peace and tolerance in, is the very group that is pushing you to a level of hysterical fear. My side never said, “Let’s round up all the Mexicans, throw them in vans, then throw them in camps.” No, YOUR side said that…. YOUR friends and acquaintances and news sources are the ones that told you that. Because once they can convince you to be afraid of us, they can convince you to hate us….and with that hate they can convince you to eliminate us. They only way to no longer live in fear is to get rid of us….

Believe it or not, we want to build the wall to protect you. And the very fact that you would reach out to me tells me that in your heart of hearts you do feel truth when I say I want to build bridges. And I think you want to build bridges, too.

“This is a reality that millions are facing. And you want to sit at a table with me still? You think you’re welcome to eat with me? I’m an American citizen, but I’m brown and my family is from Mexico and that is enough for me to be hated.”

Yes, I do want to sit at a table with you. The most blessed moment of our coming face to face is always over breaking bread. I would hope that I’m welcome to come and eat with you, because that would be a gracious thing for you to offer. It would signify that you would want to peacefully sit down, enjoy a nice meal, talk things out and get to know each other, figure out what is wrong and how we can fix it….together. But, if I’m not welcome at your table, my response would never be to DEMAND that you allow me a seat. No, my response could ONLY be that you’re always welcome to come to my table if you would really like to talk, even if I’m not welcome to yours.

And again, I’m not sure who told you that being brown in America was something to be fearful of. My suspicion is that it’s the same group of villainous manipulators that say they have your best interests at heart. Please, be very careful of people who demand you live in fear. Those aren’t your friends, those aren’t your colleagues. Trust me on this, Angry Knitter.

“The fact that some knitting website banned open support of hatred and segregation has you angry is appalling. Also, you say that you’re gay right? So you know what it feels like to feel different, to be afraid. I’m a lesbian. I know that pain too. You understand that pain, yet you stand against other who experience that same pain in different ways. How can you do that? How can you stand against us?”

Ok, this is where I call “bullshit.” I can be fair, but I can also be brutally honest. If you’re defining yourself by your sexuality, then you know absolutely nothing about yourself. If the most impressive thing about you is your mating habits, then you’re as primitive as any amoeba I’ve seen on documentary TV.

There has GOT to be something more interesting about you than your sexuality. I’m giving you some homework, Angry Knitter. Write 25 fascinating things that describe yourself without calling yourself a victim. Write down your character traits, your accomplishments. See if you can do it without claiming to be “marginalized.”

No pain of mine ever came from being gay. So, I can’t relate to that. Yes, again, the same people that you hold close that told you being brown was bad, also told you that being gay was bad….

I’m urging you, Angry Knitter, to broaden your circle of friends, your sources of information, whatever. But, someone has enslaved you with the idea that everything about you is wrong and to be hated!…..and it wasn’t me. It wasn’t my side. It was your close associates that told you that. Not mine.

“And then have the nerve to say you’re upset that a knitting website is dividing us. No, YOU’RE dividing us. You CHOSE to stand alongside a man who BUILDS WALLS. You CHOSE to stand alongside a man who harasses women and speaks about entire groups of people as though they are less than human.”

Well, in regards to that I’d like to first mention that while Trump is still trying to build his wall, Ravelry successfully constructed a virtual one in a day with a statement that basically said, “You are not welcome here, we are shutting you out.”

Physical barriers and divisions are something we’ve done since the beginning of time and something that we employ on a daily basis. Everything from picket fences to iron gates are readily, hungrily sought after by people all over the world every single moment someone takes claim to what is theirs so that it can be protected. So that you can have your own haven separated from everyone else’s madness. A place of bliss, your own little bubble. I don’t know where you are right now, I don’t know your living situation, but I DO know that your heart yearns for a place where you can be free to be a brown Mexican Lesbian who has the right to do what she wants on her own fenced in, bordered land and no one can tell her otherwise. Agreed? You know you want that. And the minute you get it, you’re going to be protect it.

However, ideological divisions and barriers that are used to separate us are evil. And don’t forget that, Angry Knitter. When someone urges you to divide us because of our opinions, run. Don’t stop, just run. Those people aren’t interested in our liking each other. Those people are poisoning you with a self interest that harms both you and I.

I’m glad we had this opportunity. Maybe you didn’t think I’d respond, maybe you’re glad I did. I’d love to know.

I’m going to pray that someday you and I will be sitting at that table, either yours or mine, breaking bread, indulging ourselves, you handing your favorite dish to me, and I in turn, handing my favorite dish to you as we build dialogue, as we build a bridge, hands over the table, passing our best to each other.

And I am so looking forward to experiencing your best.

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30 comments

  1. I pray that you never stop writing. What a wonderfully balanced reply. I truly hope she answers you & you can help build a bridge with her. So many people dont care about a person’s sexuality or the color of there skin. They just want to live their lives. Bless you for your words!

  2. So very well said sir. I like your well thought out response and I hope that she realizes that her skin color, and sexuality does not mean a thing to most of us. Her character means more to me and many people I know. I too would love to sit down to a meal with her and I am a white, middle class, straight woman.

  3. As always, you put into words what my temper would make me unable to say. Thank you, I hope you find more than just one mind that thinks about what you said. It would be awesome if people would start using common sense instead of rhetoric and fear mongering.

  4. Beautiful reply, much better than I could have written. How about in other countries where people build walls around their homes, the Vatican that became a walled city during the crusades because of marauding Muslims, castles that were built behind walls and contained an entire city? I am thankful you are a sane and conscientious person who is great and speaking his thoughts.

  5. I feel sorry for her, she says she is an American citizen and doesn’t have the first clue what that means. Good for you for being kind. Although since she didn’t intimidate you into groveling and confessing your sins, I doubt you will hear from her again.

  6. This is truth and its from the heart. I live in a community on the border of TX/ Mexico. Recently when a man came a shot many people (white, black and hispanic) at our Walmart. Our local politicians started twisting a narrative and politicizing the deaths immediately. All colors died that day. The first thing my hispanic friend said was she would not allow any politician make her turn against her white friends. She said she would not be used that way.

    1. From another Texan, I hope y’all are doing well!

      Something else that tends to get injected into the rhetoric is that all conservatives are rich, white, middle-aged males. I’ve known plenty of black, hispanic, asian, and all other flavors of people who are even more conservative than most of the white males I know. As a veteran, I’ve done my part to protect everyone’s ability to align themselves with whatever viewpoint they choose, but it hurts my heart to see people choosing a side when they are armed with nothing but propaganda and misinformation.

  7. Bravo! My mother taught us kids that it doesn’t matter if you are white, brown, or purple polka dotted, we are all the same color on the inside and that’s what counts, not what or who you do, but what’s in your heart.

  8. Yours is the most brilliant response I have encountered regarding the division-fomenting forces who insist upon Us Versus Them.

    You deserve a wider audience. You deserve to be read, heard, and politely and reasonably responded to (not that I disagree with any of your points).

    Thank you.

  9. If I had the means, I’d not only help to support your blog, I’d broadcast your statements to drown out all the hateful separatist baloney and shout it from the rooftops.

  10. Wow! This is perfection. I wish everyone who is being made afraid solely for political purposes could read this. It disgusts me how people are told they have to be victims and have no chance at the American dream, because that keeps the most selfish people in power.

    If anyone is looking for a friendly community for all crafters check out Fiberkind.

  11. Thank you for stepping foward and responding as you do. Your words, your intentions are the beginning of bridges. I can’t tell you how needed your voice is. Thank you and please don’t stop.

  12. Amazing and loving response. I wish I had your ability to put my feelings and thoughts in writing or verbally so eloquently as you do. Side note: Of all the blogs I follow, yours is the only one I never miss reading. You have taught me so much since I found you in June of this year. Bless you!

  13. Wow, Your perspective and comments are so logical and so perfectly articulated. It is so much easier to be a victim (I know because I’ve been guilty of this) than to take responsibility for your life. It’s not easy but it takes courage to be a warrior.

  14. Patrick, I would love to jump in the car and drive a few hours just to hug you! This article is Fabulous! This whole Ravelry mess has got your writing juices flowing! I look forward to your articles.

  15. Thank you for taking the time to respond to this gal.. Responding with love and empathy is what we need more in this world, in the knitting community and everywhere. Bless you!

  16. It’s so true. If you’er truly a citizen, then you have nothing to fear. And in fact, go look up Cesar Chavez’s comments about illegal immigrants. The wall is just our way of protecting citizens.

    1. With respect, I think that’s a little inaccurate. A quick Google search of “ICE arrest citizens” brings up multiple cases from multiple news sources in which citizens were arrested and held for three weeks/a month/1,000 days/whatever.

  17. Wow! I think this is the most powerful statement you’ve ever written. My kudos to you. And consider yourself hugged and patted on the back.

  18. Bravo, Gregory!
    I see a human being first when I meet someone. I do not look for their “race”, only their humanity.Race has no genetic basis, granted it can indicate where in the world one’s ancestors came from but not that a person is “___ race”, it’s a construct of an old Anglican minister who because he was educated and English decided that everyone else who didn’t look like him was inferior, mentally and physically. I look to learn if they are a reasonable person, willing to be at least civil. I don’t care how they are dressed, the color of their skin has no bearing on their humanity or their value as an individual.
    I believe you hit the nail on the head with Angry Knitter. Whoever she is listening to is filled with hate, intends manipulation and fear-mongering and seems to, sadly, have succeeded in convincing Angry Knitter of those propagandist notions.
    As always, you love and compassion shine through. You are a blessing to all of us.

  19. Wow! I am so humbled by your honesty and admire your composure in responding to Angry Knitter! I hope someday she meets more people who will embrace her differences and sees the unity of all people regardless of who they voted for!

  20. Gregory, you’ve written a kind and compassionate rebuttal coupled with hard truth. I can only hope she will consider your response. Daily I’m saddened by the mob mentality exhibited by so many people today. Fear brokers are nothing new. However, today they have found many willing sheep. Yes, as others have responded, your essays should have a wider audience. More people need to lay down social media and think for themselves.

  21. Perfectly answered. Many of us need to hear how to respond other than to be just shocked and frustrated by the ignorance of the far left. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you.

  22. Wow! I could never be that cool or articulate. What you said to her was amazing and also shows that you have a ginormous heart. Thank you for responding to her. And thank you for sharing it with us.

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