And…over.

I haven’t written anything in so long….

That doesn’t mean I haven’t been speaking, or expressing, or venting. Oh, my embroidery is testament to that. I’ve been exploring a joyousness in the idea of change. For 10 years I was a manufacturing plant, a knitting assembly line making the same thing over and over and over and over and……over.

Throughout that time I listened to the same music, watched the same shows, and built a schedule of life that had been purposely structured to be mundane. I became agoraphobic, nervous, neurotic, and paranoid should anything about that set up be messed with, or changed, in any way.

The minute I told Phillip I was leaving him every single thing about me changed, almost instantly. The minute I released him, I freed myself of any emotional debt owed to anyone and it was amazing. And before I proceed I’m going to go ahead and say this is the last you will hear of his name in my posts. What happens between us should stay between us. Anything I need to say about Phillip should be said to Phillip, and not written here for everyone to see. But, you did need to know the shift in our relationship so that you could understand how this rip in our lives has changed the both of us for the better. I will say this and only this about the current state of our relationship: we like each other more, since we’re no longer demanding of each other.

I have given him all rights to “Honeychurch.” He can afford it more than I can. Furthermore, he’d like to turn it into a nursery. I think he’ll do well. He deserves it. So, do give him your best wishes and prayers for his dream of having Honeychurch become a thriving business.

Now we have to talk about the other issue a few of you have been talking about. My knitting, or lack of.

I don’t miss it. Not at all. As a matter of fact, I just knit two custom teddy bears. One for a delightful lady who loves my embroidery, and then the second one. It’s for a friend who needed a really, really special gift for a newborn. This friend has meant so much to me over these years. SO much. I thought this was the perfect bear to end this moniker with. My approach to knitting was wrapped in madness…hence the name. Hours and hours, years and years, knitting the same thing over and over and over and…..over.

Knitting had also become a catalyst for politics and drama and….yarn just looks so nasty to me now. My bamboo knitting needles are better served as plant stakes in the garden. I don’t want to touch them ever again.

This rip with Phillip really did cause a beautiful awakening within me. I know a lot of this sounds harsh, finite. But, believe it or not, I feel amazing. I may not have a penny to my name, no legitimate home to claim as my own, no real plan in mind, and I have no idea what is going to happen to me next….but, I have choices now. I have freedom. And that is worth more than anything you could ever think of. My life looks like a tangled mess from the outside, but I assure you, there is a solemn sense of calm within.

Because my life is moving in beautiful new directions and there are so many things I want to share with you, but this doesn’t seem to be the right place anymore….No sense calling myself something I’m not. I’m no longer frustrated, no longer angry….no longer knitting. I’m recapturing feelings I lost so long ago, back when I was inquisitive, excited, gregarious and sociable.

In the future, you’ll be able to find me at gregorypatrick.wordpress.com. There isn’t anything there yet, but….gimme a minute πŸ™‚ I had to snag it before some other “Gregory Patrick” could claim it (That’s so funny! As IF there were another! HA!) And of course, you can still find me on my facebook and instagram.

20210419_2207582For the moment I want to enjoy the way things are happening as they are. I’m in no rush to push and promote a new identity, a new blog, a new brand…..I’m in no rush for any of that nonsense. There is a delicate patience that embroidery has taught me. There is a desire for art that embroidery has taught me. Beyond that, it has exposed to me a constant desire to find color in everything, to seek out beauty in the irrelevant, to slow down, shut up and listen, rather than relish in my own shouting.

I don’t know what will happen next, but I do know that it will be good πŸ™‚ I feel wonderful, I really do. I see some fantastic things happening for me, new places, interesting new faces, and more love than I could have ever thought possible. For those things are already beginning to manifest….

Don’t forget, everything is beautiful….

Peace πŸ™‚

15 comments

  1. I’m glad to know you and Phillip are both doing well. I have nothing but the good wishes for both of you in your future endeavors. Your new art is gorgeous. Each piece is more beautiful than the last. Phillip will do well establishing a nursery with his love of plants. I’ll see you at your new place and hope you’ll find time to put down your needle and take up your pen to share your thoughts with us.

  2. Wow! This is BIG news! I’m only a teensy bit sad that things did not work out for you and Philip, a teensy bit because I feel your exhilaration about your life opening up and you moving on to something better and brighter. I care about you and wish you well and trust you will notify us when gregorypatrick.wordpress.com is posting again. I am excited to see what unfolds for you. Deep blessings, my friend. And yes. Everything is beautiful.

  3. Dear, dear Gregory,

    Your latest post made me very emotional.

    I am glad for all the developments you describe, yet “madmanknitting” has been a part of my life too, and to let it go is hard for me, sounds stupid but that’s how I feel.

    You are a very beautiful, generous Man and I am honored to be one of your friends. Your noble gesture of transferring the rights of Honeychurch to Phillip touches me most, I know how much you love the place.

    But enough of words. If you (and Phillip) allow, I would like to help in all these changes, help you and Phillip too in this nice project you mentioned, the plant nursery.

    Can we talk soon over a beer ? There are lots of things I would like to ask.

    By the way, I am planning to send you the cushion in these days. May I still use the address you gave me ?

    We really need to talk about the future, please allow me to be part of your team, I am sure that great things are just round the corner waiting to unfold before you and Phillip.

    I wish you all the Best and look forward to having a chat with you.

    Big hugs

    Giovanni

  4. So happy and relieved to hear you are well and with so many positive tendrils to tug on. Follow the petals…..they always fall to lead you where you should be. Remember there are so many of us who will always here.

  5. Gregory, I am sad for me but very happy (and I might add a little concerned because you’ve become a part of my weekly life!) for you. You’re right about the politics of knitting. Why did something that could have knit us closer divide us? Could it just be “where we are at” in the U.S. at this moment? At any rate, I wish you well. XX)) Maggie

  6. Oh Good luck and how wonderful to sit and listen to the small voices in your life and directions anew. Enjoy and Keep safe and love to all.

  7. Thank you for the update. I’m glad you are in a good place emotionally. I look forward to more of your writing in whatever subjects in your new blog

  8. Hugs Friend! I am glad you are well and in a good place! As always, I look forward to your meaningful and insightful words!

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