Desperate days in America. And it breaks my heart. I haven’t written much lately, been in bed for a few days, but these are the pivotal moments that causes this knitter to pen. And I assure you, my health problems will in no way permit me from feeling a deeper pain that has brought me to tears.
The divisions in America have become apparent. They are so cutting and clean, that it requires only one person to commit a heinous act, but an entire group to be smeared. And that is the horror of being “grouped” demographically.
If I could approach you as a singular person, value you with the moments you’ve been pained by, or laud you for your accomplishments, then all would be solved. I might just love you….or might wish to never associate with you again. And I am going to demand the same.
But, I at the very least, I gave you the one promise of judging you singularly, and not by those of your decided, collective grouping. Sadly, the current divisions we have in our country rests squarely on the idea of self groupings, by being defined by things we cannot change, as opposed to truly looking at each other singularly, one on one, and defining our relationships in that way. Because this idea of setting ourselves into separate camps, based on the things we physically cannot change, is not working.
I don’t want to be known as a gay man, or a white man. Those are things I cannot change. However, on both sides of our current political issues, we are told that you MUST make decisions based on these categories. Because, they say, people don’t like you for those reasons. It’s interesting the summations people make.
Gay man? “Oh, you poor victimized thing.”
White man? “How dare you, you racist!”
One minute I could be a victim of our “social construct;” the next minute, I could be the perpetrator of the very same abuses I accuse people of. But, if you had a moment to speak to me, you would see a clarity, that I am singular from both of those concepts. Those are aspects of mine, but they do not define me. If you valued me singularly, then I would be allowed what all of our lives desire: validation. I would be blessed in knowing that you appreciate me, just as me, and not by the constraining camps of groups that the media has decided to march us into.
Our collective groupings will not work. We cannot accept those conditions, nor should we demand them. If you want racism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, or social-phobia to be eliminated in America, then you cannot demand that you be identified as your collective group. You MUST insist that you be viewed as singular. Our identities are better served when we no longer reduce ourselves to one or two socially acceptable qualifying traits.
Somewhere recently, and I blame the media for this, we were given only a few options to define ourselves. We stopped being treated as individuals, and were told our worth rested only in the words they handed us: black, white, gay, cop, conservative…..homophobe, xenophobe, racist. “You go into your corner, now you go into yours. Now FIGHT! Ratings will be huge!” (Don’t believe me? Watch “Network.”)
I’ve never appreciated labels. Unless of course, you allow me to label myself by the things I’ve accomplished, or the moments I’ve been pained by, but not by the things I cannot change.
And furthermore, we cannot APPROACH people in the same manner. I am inclined to think of the things you’ve done, as opposed to the traits you were born with. I will judge you on no other terms. I will no longer consider you one of the many mad categories the media has decided to brand you with for the sake of their own desire for ratings. I don’t trust social media. I don’t trust the message of memes.
We cannot keep blaming each other’s groups. We will fail. We can only blame each other, personally, for allowing others to define us, for allowing ourselves to be categorized by our victimization, for our crimes, for our shootings, for our reactions.
I will approach you singularly, as the person you are….only you, and not by the group you’ve be poisoned to believe you “belong” to. I’ll do this, if you promise you will do the same. And if these divisions in America continue then there is only one person to blame.
If you appreciate this blog and would like for it continue, please donate. Every single bit helps.