Phillip Flips to Fifty

I will not lie to you….I’m hungover. So, this might be one of the most precious, or most disastrous blog posts I’ve ever written.

It seems cider doesn’t agree with me. I’m a classic drinker. I can hold my liquor. But, for some messed up reason cider seems to throw everything off balance, including my equilibrium…which is why I guess I kept walking sideways yesterday, only correcting myself once I hit a wall. But, don’t worry! Nothing terrible happened….I just played it off. “Phillip, have you seen the mural on this wall? Fasc (burp!) fascinating…..Gorgeous. What is that? A frog?”

Why? Oh, why did I have two (ok, three) pints of cider and go all stupid? Because today Phillip flips to fifty. Yes, today is Phillip’s 50th birthday, but seeing how he had to work today, we decided to celebrate last night….which is another lie. We celebrated at 1pm and were in bed, wrecked in the head, watching crap tv by 5pm asking, “What the hell just happened?” (Full disclosure, we were gifted a case of Mike’s Hard Lemonade for his birthday at 11am….and we might have started there. Anyway! Don’t plan to incriminate either of us, just giving the facts.)

9c96ad0dd433c20bb7e8935147b3d9b7__united_states_florida_orange_county_orlando_northeast_orlando_east_robinson_street_2414_sportstown_billiardshtmlWe had decided to go to Sportstown, an institution, if you ask me. The perfect place to play. A place I’ve been going to since I was in my 20’s. It looks like a basement rec room in the suburbs. The type of place where the parents know you’re going to drink, smoke weed, be vile and ridiculously stupid….but, you’re in the basement and mom and dad can come and check on you if they need to. You’re in a safe place, plush with comfy couches, baskets of nacho cheese, pickled jalapenos, air hockey and ski ball. What can go wrong?

Absolute nothing went wrong. It was a great outing, a wonderful afternoon in which we foolishly celebrated Phillip’s birthday. No one else was there! It was us and the bartender, which is how we flow, you know. I’m agoraphobic and can’t be around a lot of people….and Phillip is just awkward and weird. He frightens people….He’s reading this right now and agreeing with me, so no emails about how I talk poorly about him. Dude is over my shoulder NODDING right now.

So, we liked that we had the whole place to ourselves….at 1 o’clock in the afternoon on a Thursday. 🙂 Who else would be there? We never got to the jukebox. We love the jukebox because we love messing with people’s heads. It’s true! Whenever we go to Sportstown we make a point of leaving with some wild song on the jukebox as we make our exit. We were going to pick George Michael’s “Flawless.” But, there was no one there to mess with 🙂

So, this is where we came home, made some ham sandwiches, plopped in the bed and asked that serious question that anyone on the precipice of 50 may want to ask. Midlife. Half life. Shelf life…What have you done and want do you want next?

The answers to those questions are never truly spoken. Quite simply, they’re felt. No matter how you to try to verbalize it, what it means to reach an age where you realize that life will someday begin to fade away can hurt you, if you’re not careful…

Then we remembered the many of our friends who didn’t make it this far….the same friends who were convinced people like Phillip and I wouldn’t make it past 30. Yet, here we all were in a space meant for fun, the spirit of long gone friends around us….All of us laughing at the irony of it all: they were all gone and here was Phillip flipping 50.

He said, “Today was good. I felt 15 again….” Turning 50 allowed him the chance to feel youthful again. If you could see his face, he looks like a solid, happy man undefinable in age. He has a boyish buoyancy about him. He might have gone to work today with two different pairs of socks because he is about as hungover as I am right now. But, that’s not the sort of thing you care too much about as you mature, is it?

So, ya’ll wish Phillip a happy birthday. I’m going to eat something greasy and go back to bed….

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  1. Dear Gregory, please forward my best wishes to Phillip. Hope you two are very fine and to talk with you soon.

    Nice afternoon (yours), I am going to bed 🙂



  2. Sending Phillip many, many wishes for a fabulous birthday 🎂. It sounds like a great way to spend a birthday.

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