The Mad Dash Past Christmas

I won’t lie. There is a huge part of me that wants to make a mad dash past Christmas. I think a lot of people feel like that. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying I don’t want Christmas to happen, I’m just waiting to move on from this year. I spent the first half of it absorbed with ambition….then suddenly, went quiet, and spent the second half of the year in solitude….as I guess I’m supposed to do, being all monkish and everything.

If you were to look at my collection of books, you’d perceive me as some kind of overly ambitious Buddhist. Books on religion and books on business, side by side, cozied up on the same shelf. How mad. 🙂 Care of the Soul sitting right next to Barbarians at the Gate.

And to be fair, books were all I wanted for Christmas this year. Well, those and a German dish rack. (Don’t ask me why, but I remember when we had one when I was a young man living in Berlin and it was amazing!….not like I did a whole lot of dishes when I was a young man living in Berlin, but anyway!)

Something seems to be missing this year. Not sure what it is, but some Christmases are like that, when you think back. Some Christmases you just want to run past and get over. Other Christmases can’t get here soon enough. But, this one….Nothing bad, nothing tragic, nothing sad. Everything was too….rehearsed, I guess. This Christmas feels like “going through the motions.”

I’ve done my best. I’ve had coco with a splash of whiskey, solidly in my pajamas in the middle of a chilly night watching the silliest of Christmas movies. By the end of those movies who even needs coco? Just keep splashing the whiskey. There is no real magic this year, if you know what I mean.

We’ve let packages from amazon just hurdle under our tiny tree just to make sure we have something to open on Christmas day (because it was going to hurt someone’s feelings if we didn’t wait to enjoy all the merriment on THAT day…) And that’s about the time I get annoyed and scream, “Ok! One of these boxes has a bottle of bleach I ordered. Why are we waiting until the 25th to enjoy this???….And I need to clean the sheets, so which of these boxes has presents and which one has a gallon of bleach?”

A silly frustration, but there you have it.

I think Phillip and I got sucked into other people’s traditions, because those traditions mean so much to them. You know, a perfect Christmas morning in flannel, presents under the tree, a ham in the oven, lunch at noon….smiles, happiness, postcard worthy happiness. But, that isn’t who we are, it isn’t what we do. We sleep until noon on Christmas because Phillip is guaranteed that day off. And if he doesn’t have to get up, then neither do I. We usually open a lot of boxes and packages well before Christmas, because we have a lot of things delivered. And if we see a gift (like a set of books), we’ll know they’re a gift, sit them under the tree, know who they’re from, and wait until Christmas to enjoy reading those books. (I got a bunch of Miss Marples. Yay! Can’t wait to start reading, but I’ll wait until Christmas!)

Christmas Eve will be spent drinking Gluhwein and eating little smokies slow cooked and smothered in grape jelly. Our friends will probably pop by. Instead of playing Christmas movies all day, we have a playlist of some our favorite shows to we keep running on the TV while we play cribbage. Mr. Bean. Catherine Tate’s Nan. Mrs. Brown. Father Ted. The Vicar of Dibley. Absolutely Fabulous….

Christmas dinner is usually meatloaf, mashed potatoes, peas. I don’t make meatloaf often because it’s rather expensive, so it’s a nice treat for us. And by the end of Christmas Day, we will have found ourselves stuffed and sprawled splat on the sofa, laughing at a disaster film, and handing each other a gift before we doze off. And to be honest, of all that we’re blessed with, our gifts to each other are always the most wonderful. Phillip and I know each other, we read each other, we know exactly what to get each other….and if he get’s my gift wrong? Well, my birthday is in 2 weeks so he can try a do over 🙂

So, as Christmas gets closer, I feel this strange desire to rip everything open and start having fun instead of waiting. That’s our usual tradition! Have fun now! Let’s start with all of the chocolates in the advent calendars that we haven’t devoured! 🙂 Then I’m going to find that box with Clorox!