Like Playing Dress Up

IMG_0775I’m having the best time playing around with these new bears with sweaters, hats and scarves. Yeah, I guess it is a little like playing dress up. Ok, ya’ll know me. Jeans, t-shirt, ballcap, boots. Done. Fun to dress these bears up in a fashionable way that I am in NO way familiar with. Looking scruffy is my thing. Looking dapper is for these bears. And I really can’t stress how much I like them. It’s great being able to look at small bits of yarn left around and getting creative, at putting colors together to see how they match up, and finally, at being able to see these bears all dressed up and ready to go out into the world, fully ready for winter. The brown and creme on this bear are made from Lionbrand’s Fisherman’s Wool. The pink and grey are Wool Ease.  The bear measures 12″ from toe to head and is ready to ship with a signed card by me. If you’d like to adopt this little one, just click on the picture. And if you’d like the pattern to this bear, just click here.

Ok, gonna work up a few more of my back ordered bears, then rummage through my stash to see what other bears with sweaters, hats and scarves I can come up with.

If you’d like to buy my patterns, click here.

If you appreciate my writing and you’d like for this blog to continue, please support! This blog survives because of you!

 

Give That Bear His Own Pattern

IMG_0768People seemed to like my Teddy Bear with Mock Sweater, Hat and Scarf so much…..(man, that seems like an awfully long title……) anyway, people like the bear so much, I thought I’d whip up a pattern for him. And, as always, with it being the middle of the month and my looking ahead towards next month’s rent, I thought I’d go ahead and and publish the pattern, promote it, and hopefully bring in a few bucks. I’m currently working on another version of the bear to hopefully post tomorrow, this one is a touch more feminine with pink being used instead of the Jade Heather. Actually, the pink, brown, creme and grey all look so really nice together. Like a classic Parisian box of confections. Dang, that was a nice description…..Anyhow, grab the pattern! Make up some teddy bears for the winter! Share the pattern with your friends, your knitting friends, and convince them to make up a teddy bear for you! If you’d like the pattern for the bear, just click on the picture.

If you’d like to buy my patterns, click here.

If you appreciate my writing and you’d like for this blog to continue, please support! This blog survives because of you!

 

Give That Bear a Hat and Scarf

IMG_0768The bear with the mock sweater was such a hit, and I received so many comments about him, that with some of the leftover jade and grey I insisted I give it another shot, except someone mentioned I ought to give the little guy a hat and scarf. Sure! Why not???? A few years ago I did a Christmas bear with a hat and scarf (see my pattern links below) so a hat and scarf would be simple.

I stayed up REALLY late last night working on him. Ok ok ok, I got caught up watching “The United States of Tara” and couldn’t pull myself away, and finally finished the little bear this morning. I adore him. I really do. He has a mock grey sweater with a “hem” around the waist and cuffs, and a matching jade hat with grey accents, to go with with his jade scarf. Yes, both the hat and scarf are removable. He measures 12″ tall from toe to head, is made of wool and is ready to ship with a signed card by me. I hope whomever shall adopt this bear takes exceptionally good care of him because this is one of those little bears that made me really proud. I plan to do quite a few more in this style because its an awesome way to get rid of leftover yarn and I just love the way this little bear looks. Alright then, if you’d like to adopt him, just click on the picture.

If you’d like to buy my patterns, click here.

If you appreciate my writing and you’d like for this blog to continue, please support! This blog survives because of you!

Some Bears are Grey

IMG_0762This is the bear I worked on last night. A nice little traditional grey bear with a subtle smile and made from Lionbrand’s Wool Ease, which is a wool, acrylic blend. He is a touch smaller than my usual bears, measuring just a little more than 10″ from tippy toe to top of head. He’s ready to ship with a signed card from me. Hope he gets adopted today. It’s Sunday. I think I’d like to treat myself to a nice big pot of beef stew for Sunday dinner. Cheers! Click on the pic to adopt him.

If you’d like to buy my patterns, click here.

If you appreciate my writing and you’d like for this blog to continue, please support! This blog survives because of you!

 

You Take Me There

So, as I mentioned in one of my last posts that I have an issue with traveling from my own home, that a sense of agoraphobia keeps me from actually getting on the highway, or heading past a certain street. I am inclined to venture no more than where I can walk safely back home. And at this point, its roughly 2 miles, give or take. But the mind and its imagination are an amazing tool, and it doesn’t keep me from “traveling” to different parts of the world.

For instance, I spend most of my Saturdays in Britain. I don’t know why. But, I’m fond of the place. Perhaps it’s ancestral voices calling. I spend the majority of my day knitting and watching the classics. Absolutely Fabulous. Keeping Up Appearances. Are You Being Served? The Inbetweeners. The Vicar of Dibley. And then I softly set myself into the evening, where I slip into some Kate Bush and some Portishead and keep on working until the giddy, flirty laughter of Graham Norton gets me laughing just before bedtime.

And I have friends all across the globe that inspire that, as well. My friend Giovanni, an Italian man who ironically lives in the Netherlands, during our last call inspired me to have panzanella for lunch. Whenever we speak, I am inclined to have a cannelloni, or pick a photo off instagram of a slowly moving blue sea, and dream of mothers that shower you with delicate, rich dinners, of wine made on property, and of landscapes that tell tales of lands wrought with passions.

And a fondness for an email I once received from someone in Spain, which had me for the rest of the evening watching Pedro Almodovar films and eating tapas. Of laying on my back in a park gazing in wonder up at Gaudy, of broad squares where people mingle and linger at the end of the day with wine in one hand, their lover’s grasp in the other.

And emails I get from Germany that remind me of being a young man in Berlin, where I lived for five years, smelling brotchen being baked, where the tempting of the cold spirit is smashed by the impressiveness of the their determination to live boldly, where  big men with steins brought me to my knees in sexual admiration, and tender women who batted lashes so well that I was inspired to write a book about it in my early 20’s.

So, just because I cannot physical go more than 2 miles without a panic attack doesn’t mean I don’t “travel” extensively. And each of you take me there. I love hearing from all of you, and your own genuine uniqueness and cultures. In a way, you invite me to share and enjoy them with you.

My bears have been all over the world at this point, and hearing of their journeys and where they arrive allow me some sort of ambassadorship.

There is a touch of hope and joy in my bears that has landed itself in so many countries and cultures. And in a way, I am afforded the same sort of travel and enjoy every minute of being there with you.

I spend time in my mind being with you wherever you are. And if I can’t? Then I’ll send a bear along in my place.

If you’d like to buy my patterns, click here.

If you appreciate my writing and you’d like for this blog to continue, please support! This blog survives because of you!

 

 

 

 

 

More Jade

IMG_0745So, despite my previous post, I still had to get some work done. I had a great talk with my friend in the Netherlands after my post and that actually made me feel tons better. I’m hoping my friend in Wyoming will be available later, as well. Waiting for the rain to pass. Once it does I’d like to go for a walk around the neighborhood. It would be great if I could get Mario to go on a leash. (Yes, we HAVE tried and I nearly lost an eye in the battle). I think maybe later this evening I’ll watch something feel-good. You know? Like a marathon of “That 70’s Show” or something.

Anyhow, the last Jade bear I had was adopted in NO time flat, but since I had the leftover yarn, why not make another? He’s made of 100% wool, measures 12″ tall, and is ready to ship with a signed card by me. Click on the picture to bring him home.

The bear with the mock sweater was a real hit, and the compliments on him were really encouraging. So, I think I’ll start playing with more of those in different colors. Anyway, hope ya’ll have a great night.

If you’d like to buy my patterns, click here.

If you appreciate my writing and you’d like for this blog to continue, please support! This blog survives because of you!

Feeling “Glitchy”

I was feeling a little “glitchy” earlier today when I woke up. That’s what I call it. It’s pretty much a mixture of anxiety and sadness. I don’t know where it comes from, but I often don’t discuss it. Of course, Kara knows. And I’ll call her up just to have her around. When I start to feel “glitchy” my body begins to feel strange. Shaky, painful, like a drug addict in detox. Fast heart. Shallow breath. Unable to focus. These are the kinds of days I find it incredibly hard to knit. If you don’t have a knitting circle, then knitting can be an insanely isolated thing. You’re only alone physically, for the thoughts you have while knitting keep you company. And if you knit alone ALOT, then you can get in the bad habit of being stuck in your head far too much. As a matter of fact, you can get LOCKED in your own head. I notice my glitchy days happen when I’ve had too long a stretch of being alone. For instance, I haven’t seen or spoken to anyone in five days. Five days. Not a soul. Then I’ll notice when I wake up after such a lengthy spell that I feel sad, anxious, a touch nervous.

I’ve been doing my best to head up to Starbucks to knit more. But, than can be expensive. Even if all you have is a tall black coffee, you end up spending a lot of money up there. And when I think of what I’ve just paid for a coffee I remind myself that I could buy a bag of beans and rice for the same amount and eat very nicely for a few days. So, I don’t go as often as I wish.

I have an issue with some agoraphobia, so sometimes my choices are limited. I’m not so terrible that I can’t leave the house. But, I can’t go more than about 2 miles from home before I get “glitchy” again. Same symptoms arise. Panicky, white faced, shallow breath. I feel like I am having a heart attack. So, everyone around me knows that we don’t go too far from home. We don’t go past the boundaries. I think its a fear that my home won’t be there when I come back. Do you know I have been in this apartment for nearly 2 years and that is the longest I have lived in any dwelling for more than 5 years? So, I’m attached to it, beholden to it, afraid when I leave and close the door behind me and go too far, that I won’t have it when I get back. I worked so VERY hard to get out of homeless and into a little place that I am always terrified that it’ll be gone again.

I do feel a lot of strange PTSD issues since the homeless days. Things that are off, things that are odd. Like my boots and how I have to always be wearing them all the time for fear we’ll have to leave. It’s all so very strange. I’m sure in time I’ll find a way to work through all of it, move through it and break it up, shatter it, and find some freedom. I’m a survivor, of course. I always have been. But, for now, at least I feel I’m on the right track by being able to see my perplexing issues, recognize them, and figure out what to do about them. I’ll break it someday. I will. I’m a fighter.

I just thought I’d share, if that’s ok. I feel better now that I’ve actually said something about it. I really do.

If you’d like to buy my patterns, click here.

If you appreciate my writing and you’d like for this blog to continue, please support! This blog survives because of you!

 

Bear With a Mock Sweater

IMG_0747I had a little of this multicolored stripey stuff from Paton’s left over from a bear I did a few weeks ago and you know my philosophy. No yarn goes to waste. I thought about making something of a mock sweater on the bear and I honestly think it turned out rather nice. I switched some stitches around where the sweater meets the body to create something of a hem. He’s made of 100% wool and measures 12″ from tips of toe to top of head, ready to ship with a signed card by me. If you’d like to adopt him, just click on the picture. He’s the only one so act fast!

IMG_0751 IMG_0749oh! and these two guys showed up a few days ago and seem to have adopted Mario and I. Yeah, they show up in the morning, I give them a little food, they rub my leg, sniff Mario through the screen door, then chill in the shade for the rest of the day. I guess it’s true…..you don’t adopt cats, cats adopt you.

If you’d like to buy my patterns, click here.

If you appreciate my writing and you’d like for this blog to continue, please support! This blog survives because of you!

I Hope This Bear Finds You Well

It’s been a quiet day. Very quiet. It rained quite a bit, so I never really got out of my pajamas. I did a lot of work, got a lot of knitting done. Reheated my lentils from last night (don’t forget, someone sent me a pizza :) )

I was sipping on lentils, flopping around my apartment in my pajamas and boots….(I know I’ve told you that before, right? I always have my boots on. Its leftover from the homeless days. It comes from a fear that me and the cat will have to leave at any moment, so I can’t help it. Its a tweak in my psychology I can’t shake. I wake in the morning and I put on my boots, despite what I’m wearing. If you’re lucky, you’ll catch me walking around my apartment in my underwear and my boots. It’s quite the sight. Kinda cute, actually).

But, I heaved a sigh and thought, “This spell must be broken.” I threw on some Siouxsie. That’s right. Siouxsie and the Banshees would perk me up. I was lurking around my apartment dancing in my boots and pj’s to “Face to Face” having a grand time.

Awww, the remembrance of youth…..flooded with visions of the 90’s and what fun they were. I was a ridiculous boy who actually once kissed a girl. :) We watched Kids in the Hall and made rice crispy treats, wore flared bottomed trousers and danced at Barbarella. We bought Madonna’s “Sex” book and giggled like kids who had seen their first porn mag. We did fiery poetry readings at open mic nights, and didn’t share posts on facebook, but shared our tables at coffee houses. We ran home to watch the latest episode of X-Files because no one could afford a VCR because they were expensive and if you missed the X Files…..well, you missed it. Nothing was on demand. Everything happened in the moment, and if you missed the moment…..sorry, Charlie.

unnamed5I worked up a little sweat dancing to some Siouxsie….and sat back to peek through some emails. And this one, this one caught me. Joern ordered one of my bears for a newborn. After some lengthy time (I’m working on that) and an ocean away (the bear went to Norway), the bear finally arrived and Joern was gracious enough to send me a photo of the little newborn with my bear. God, that was wonderful. What a wonderful photo. I sat and gazed and smiled.

I took my headphones off, and put Siouxsie away. I went back to my lentils, pajamas and boots with cat in my lap….and picked up my knitting needles.

Its been a quiet day. Very quiet…….as it should be :)

If you’d like to buy my patterns, click here.

If you appreciate my writing and you’d like for this blog to continue, please support! This blog survives because of you!

 

 

Jade Bear

IMG_0746So, this is the little bear I was working on last night when my surprise pizza came. I had some of this Jade Heather left over from a messenger bag I made for a dear friend a while back. While stumbling through my stash I spied it and decided to give it new life as a bear. The skein is Paton’s Classic Wool, which is quickly becoming one of my favorites to work with. It’s a nice, clean wool. And I love the way the fibers really seem to hold each other from stitch to stitch. Something I can never get cotton to do. Anyway! The bear measures 12″ from tippy toe to top of head and is ready to ship with a signed card from me. Just click on the picture to adopt him. (Don’t you just love that face????)

I’m shut in this weekend. Got all the supplies I need. Working my tale off to get more bears out the door to complete my six week goal.

If you’d like to buy my patterns, click here.

If you appreciate my writing and you’d like for this blog to continue, please support! This blog survives because of you!