Thank you, God, for this Life

I want to thank all of you for one of the most magical birthdays ever.

For weeks before the day I was riddled with strange anxieties many of us have when hitting a milestone. Questions of relevance and your impact on the world confiscate your mind….then you find yourself handling joy and regret like some kind of juggling act.

Then the day came. And nothing but happiness happened. And then my mother arrived. I hadn’t seen her in almost four years. The embrace was….well, the kind you get from a mom, the kind of hug no one else can give you. Indescribable.

We sat and had coffee as she handed me a gift. It was a thin, limpy, preciously wrapped gift. As she handed it to me, I felt the premonition I had in a dream….something I have been wanting for so long.

I held it in my lap, placed my hands on the package, lifted my head skyward and whispered, “Please, please, please, please….”

I sat there begging like a child, pleading with God that this was it, I had seen it in a dream! PLEASE!

I rip it only slightly enough to see that it was what I wanted! IT WAS! OH MY!

I leapt to my feet, screaming, “YES! HA!!!” I ran to the kitchen, laughing with the most joyous noise. The look on my mother’s face was astonishing, as if to say, “I didn’t know this meant so much to him.”

It was a Siouxsie and the Banshees T-shirt. Now, I’ve wanted this shirt for a while, couldn’t afford it, so I put it on my amazon wish list. Someone bought it a month ago….but, it never arrived. Did a porch pirate take my beloved Siouxsie???

My mother, seeing my delight, confessed that my sister (MY SISTER!) had purchased the shirt and sent it my mother to give to me on my birthday, just so I wouldn’t open it too early…..just so I would be delighted at just the right time. My sister was giving more than a shirt. It was a gift reminding me of wish….and patience.

Oh, my. I swell with tears when I think of how dear the entire day was.

I walked around with my own mad tea party hat (paying a little homage to Kanreki, but why not do it at 50?), wearing my Siouxsie shirt (thank you again, Jessica), and had friends come in and out all day to wish me well and gifts of blessing. We had cocktails, we had nibbles, we had a grand time.

But, no matter how many people were here, I spent my birthday with two of the people who mean most to me. My mother here, and my sister in spirit.

Towards the end of the night, when my little party was at its height, there were five people laughing and chit-chatting in dim light.

I said nothing, and just sat back, watched my friends and kin be kind, and smiled with delight.  And bigger went my grin as I softened my eyes, and whispered with a hushed sigh,

“Thank you, God, for this life….”

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